December 13, 2022
LILY Letter 88: Surviving the Holidays

The holidays often accentuate the grief of single people, particularly those who are newly divorced. It can be an all too poignant reminder of our losses, and especially if we are missing our kids for Christmas for the first time. It can be a lonely time to be without a companion. Longing for family tends […]

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December 6, 2022
LILY Letter 87: Are You Waiting on the Lord?

Waiting does not have to be passive. You can patiently wait while being anxiously engaged in good causes and active in pursuing the life you want. Of course, as anyone who has listened to our podcast or watched our videos or read or Amazon bestseller Intentional Courtship knows, we believe in being intentional about healing […]

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November 29, 2022
LILY Letter 86: Choosing Power and Joy

​​With very personal and poignant experience, I (Jeff) have learned that it is far better to approach adversity with strength rather than weakness. When my brother died in 1993, I gained weight, my academic performance dropped, and I looked depressed — because I was. When I got divorced in 2010, I was so distraught I […]

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November 22, 2022
LILY Letter 85: Happy Thanksgiving!

​In November of 1621, 401 years ago, the Pilgrims of Plymouth Colony gathered with the Wampanoag tribe for an autumn harvest festival. It is now recognized as the first Thanksgiving feast in America. These Pilgrims came to America in search of a new start due to the collapse of the Dutch textile industry and the […]

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November 15, 2022
LILY Letter 84: Giving Grace to Your Former Spouse

One of the ways that we can know when we have forgiven someone is when we sincerely wish them well in our hearts. When good things happen to them, our hearts are happy for their success. Even if it might be something we want for ourselves, we hold that space and possibility open for our […]

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November 8, 2022
LILY Letter 83: Giving Your Heart a Chance

In July 2015, the Arbinger Institute published, "The Anatomy of Peace: Resolving the Heart of Conflict. The fundamental premise of the book is that our hearts are either at war with each other or at peace, and that peace in our hearts creates peace in the home, the community, and the world. A heart at […]

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November 1, 2022
LILY Letter 82: Giving Thanks This Month & All Year Long

​Remember to be grateful. It will make you happy. The end. Just kidding! We have a bit more to say about the magical subject of gratitude and giving thanks. After several years of financial poverty in Jeff's mid-single years, he finally start to turn things around. While living in Texas that summer, he needed a […]

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October 25, 2022
LILY Letter 81: Happy Halloween!

When we think about Halloween, we associate it with cultural rituals like costume parties, trick or treating, and school carnivals. In fact, these rituals have their origin in an ancient Celtic festival called Samhain (pronounced “Sow-wen”), which literally means November. It was considered the day when the world moves from the light part of the […]

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October 18, 2022
LILY Letter 80: Death & Divorce Rituals

We have experienced a fair amount of both death and divorce in our lives. "The Death of Marriage" (this week's podcast) can be every bit as painful and devastating as losing a loved one to death. Yet divorces don't have funerals. Why is that? Such rituals can be very helpful to those mourning a deep […]

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