LILY Letter 86: Choosing Power and Joy

November 29, 2022

​​With very personal and poignant experience, I (Jeff) have learned that it is far better to approach adversity with strength rather than weakness. When my brother died in 1993, I gained weight, my academic performance dropped, and I looked depressed — because I was. When I got divorced in 2010, I was so distraught I sunk into a miserable state for four years, taking a bad financial setback and making it much worse by giving in to debilitating anxiety that ultimately caused a complete financial collapse. Responding to these adversities with weakness multiplied my sorrows, and my problems.

When my son Henry recently died in a rock climbing accident (August 2022), I started exercising every day so my physical body is improving instead of declining, along with a daily mood lift. After taking a two-week bereavement to plan and execute the funeral, I continued working at my job and other business ventures. Within three months of his death, I successfully argued one of the most important cases of my career and spoke passionately with Cathy about “The Power of Living with Intention” at the BYU Life After Divorce Conference (which our featured podcast summarizes). Responding to this adversity with strength has been a far more rewarding experience.

Instead of falling into weakness as I've done in the past, we are finding that the coaching tools and thought work models we teach our clients are working really well for us as we grieve the loss of Henry. This intentional work doesn't take away the pain of loss, but it does prevent us from making hard things worse and it brings peace and balance as we continue creating our lives on purpose and moving forward with faith. “Courage is fear that has said its prayers and decided to go forward anyway.” —Spencer W. Kimball

As we bring out our warrior energy, we can choose power, joy, and progress over wallowing in misery. It is better to move forward boldly and make mistakes rather than to shrink in fear and not try. Americans prefer a president who is "strong and wrong" to one who is "weak and right." May we all rise to the occasion of intentionally responding to our personalized trials with strength and to bear our crosses well, yoked to our Savior and recieving His Divine assistance.

Are You a Victim or Superhero? is this week's video and its associated podcast Superhero Mindset expands on this week’s focus. Our short for this week is "Love is Sustainable Motivation."


LILY Pod Episode 98: Superhero Mindset (35min)

LILY Tube: Are You a Victim or Superhero? (10min)

LILY Tube Short: Love is Sustainable Motivation (1min)

Discover what LILY Coaching can do for you. Simply email to set up a FREE consultation with Jeff or Cathy. We have both private and group coaching options available. We look forward to working with you personally!

Get a copy of "Intentional Courtship" on Amazon to heal from relationship loss and create more real love in your life HERE: Intentional Courtship

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