LILY Letter 84: Giving Grace to Your Former Spouse

November 15, 2022
One of the ways that we can know when we have forgiven someone is when we sincerely wish them well in our hearts. When good things happen to them, our hearts are happy for their success. Even if it might be something we want for ourselves, we hold that space and possibility open for our future, while sincerely congratulating someone who is recieving that blessing now. This can apply to neighbors, acquaintances, friends, family, and yes, even a former spouse. It doesn't have to hurt or cause jealousy when someone else experiences a happy moment. These things can even propel us forward with intentional efforts to create those blessings in our own lives.

The truth is, as humans, we are all amazing wonderful people AND we're all a hot mess and make mistakes sometimes. We are all in need of the Atonement of Jesus Christ to support us in healing and repenting. In this sense, we are all on equal footing. We are all in the same metaphorical boat. It doesn't matter whose sins are greater because really, the only sin that matters in my own relationship with God is the sin I'm not willing to repent of OR the sin I'm not willing to forgive another for.

Giving grace to a former spouse can take some time so if you are not there yet, be patient with the process. Do, however, make intentional efforts in that direction and you will reap the greatest reward of all: peace of mind and heart. As we offer grace to those we are tempted to feel ill toward, such as a former spouse, we cultivate peace in our own lives. Grace is like a boomerang. As we give grace to others, we open ourselves up to receive the grace our Savior offers us and to feel His infinitely merciful love.

Our featured content this week dives deep into these deep concepts. The video is titled: "Is Your Ex Getting Remarried?" and the podcast we called "Pickle Juice" (based on Elder Holland's talk: "The Laborers in the Vineyard"). Our short of the week is "Getting Mixed Up with Lies."


Laborers in the Vineyard: Holland on Pickle Juice (3min)

LILY Pod Episode 96: Pickle Juice (38min)

LILY Tube: Is Your Ex Getting Remarried? (8min)

LILY Tube Short: Getting Mixed Up With Lies (1min)

Discover what LILY Coaching can do for you. Email us at to set an appointment with Jeff or Cathy. We have both private and group coaching options. We look forward to working with you personally!

Get a copy of "Intentional Courtship" on Amazon to heal from relationship loss and create more real love in your life by visiting: Intentional Courtship.

If you enjoy this letter, forward to a friend. Our goal is to support as many mid-singles and later-married couples as possible!

Love in Later Years © 2021
Privacy Policy