LILY Letter 88: Surviving the Holidays

December 13, 2022

The holidays often accentuate the grief of single people, particularly those who are newly divorced. It can be an all too poignant reminder of our losses, and especially if we are missing our kids for Christmas for the first time. It can be a lonely time to be without a companion. Longing for family tends to deepen during the holidays, which can make the navigation tricky when you feel the absence of family in your life. As you decide how to spend your holidays this year, consider the following:

1. Take extra special care of yourself and intentionally decide what you want to do during Christmas given your individual circumstances for this year. Grieve the loss of your family and the loneliness you may feel in your own way. It is your life and your decision how to best get through the holidays.

2. Be assertive enough to let people know what you need. Ask for what you want and don't feel obligated to accept invitations or give control over your holidays to other well-meaning people who may assume that they know what is good for you more than you do. Acknowledge their kind offers but ultimately do what YOU feel is best for you. If you want to attend parties or dinners, by all means do so. If, like me (Jeff), you just want to disappear and go skiing or watch movies by yourself on Christmas morning--don't feel like you can't do that. There's no wrong way to do Christmas.

3. Consider what you can do for others. You might think of something creative and kind to enhance someone else's Christmas. It doesn't compensate for the loneliness you may feel or prevent you from missing your children if they are with their other parent, but it might warm your heart a little bit to do something nice for people you care about, or even for perfect strangers.

You have all the empathy in the world from us on this issue singlehood during the holidays. It can be really hard. Just remember that there is no right way to grieve or move through the holidays. Do it all in your own way with the help and guidance of the spirit. Whatever your situation, when you are facing a holiday without a spouse or without your children, be sure to give yourself a Christmas present. Do something you have really been wanting to do that might be a little splurge. God bless you with joy and peace this holiday season! We all celebrate the good news of the gospel this time of year, which is for all people in every set of circumstances.

Our video this week is Single Parenting & the Holidays and our featured SHORT is Christmas Without Your Kids. We released a special podcast for episode 100: Celebrating 100 Episodes! where we review some of the best and most popular episodes from the last 2 years. These 100 episodes have made a big difference in the lives of many single and later married couples who have been listening. They are our gift to you this Christmas!

We hope you'll receive and enjoy the 100 podcast episodes we already created for you on LILY Pod. To listen each week to the upcoming episodes in 2023, be sure to SuBsCriBe to LILY Pod on your favorite podcast app. Find convenient links to all of the options here on our website: LILY Pod.


LILY Pod Episode 100: Celebrating 100 Episodes (54min)

LILY Tube: Single Parenting and the Holidays (9min)

LILY Tube Short: Christmas Without Your Kids (1min)

Discover what LILY Coaching can do for you. Simply email to set up a FREE consultation with Jeff or Cathy. We have both private and group coaching options available. We look forward to working with you personally!

Get a copy of "Intentional Courtship" on Amazon to heal from relationship loss and create more real love in your life HERE: Intentional Courtship

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