Many women told me during my mid-single years that confidence in a man was sexy. I believe there is a survival function in female attraction to a confident man. A bold and confident man is a good protector and is more likely to discourage potential attackers and predators. The problem with this wisdom is that, […]
For me, the loneliness began before the formal separation as I watched my former wife disconnect and disengage. We lived in the same house, on different floors, for about 18 months. It created a toxic atmosphere that I found depleting both emotionally and physically. After I moved out of our home, it occurred to me […]
One of the most important things divorcees understand that many other people don't to the same degree is that agency has a dark side. It is wonderful when we make choices in relationships that lead to happiness and success. It is miserable when others make decisions that hurt us and we have no say in […]
The 5 Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman took America by storm in 1992 and its influence continues to spread. According to Dr. Chapman, the premise of the book is that, "What makes one person feel loved will not make another person feel loved. We must discover and speak each other's love language." The idea […]
There comes a crossroads moment in every dating relationship where the relationship needs to become exclusive and move toward marriage or transition to friendship and discontinue dating each other. These are the most difficult decisions we face in dating. Each person will have his or her own set of considerations that are most important in […]
Is there any part of you that is waiting to be rescued by a relationship? Many singles carry heavy burdens and it can be tempting to think the answer is to have a relationship with someone who will help with child responsibilities, household chores, and money. What's wrong with that? While it may be understandable […]
In our religion, we value marriage highly—more than anything except the atonement of Jesus Christ. We believe marriage is central to God’s plan of happiness. Accordingly, when a marriage fails, we often think we have failed at life. If we are divorced, we may think something has gone horribly wrong, that God’s plan for us […]
Life offers a plethora of "loud voices" that can deter us from divine guidance and inspiration. By loud voices, I mean naysayers, haters, and those who put us down or lash out because they are hurting. These voices seem loud and can easily drown out all the supportive voices that counter them because our human […]
A mid-single person once commented in a singles group: "We are just the leftovers. Get used to it." I've pondered that characterization a lot since then. Is it true? Are mid-singles just the leftovers that nobody else wanted? I have also sometimes heard people refer to mid-singles as an "Island of Misfit Toys." How about […]
