LILY Letter 55: Being Whole as a Single Person

April 26, 2022

Is there any part of you that is waiting to be rescued by a relationship? Many singles carry heavy burdens and it can be tempting to think the answer is to have a relationship with someone who will help with child responsibilities, household chores, and money. What's wrong with that? While it may be understandable for you to think it, that’s not how real, healthy, vibrant relationships work.

First, as Tony Robbins says, "marriage is not the place you go to get things." It's tempting to hope the other person will ride in on a white horse and pick up your load. But, after marriage, you inevitably find out that your partner has his or her own load and, many times, was hoping you would pick it up. Marriage rarely simplifies your life, and most often actually complicates it.

Second, there are no happy marriages. There are only happy people. A marriage is not an amorphous entity with a separate consciousness of its own. If you are unhappy and looking for a marriage to "make" you happy or to make up for some deficiency in your life, you are not ready and will likely be disappointed.

Third, two happy people rarely get together and have a lousy time--even if they aren't very similar. But if one or the other is chronically unhappy, it is going to be an uphill battle. So learn to be happy on your own and accept your single status for what it is for the time being. That will free you to be creative, enjoy your life, and have new adventures with great people.


LILY Pod Episode 67: “Women Up” with Cathy & Stephanie (57min, Listen Opt)

LILY Tube Interview: “Women Up” with Cathy & Stephanie (57min, Watch Opt)

LILY Tube Video: Is a Relationship the Cure for Unhappiness? (12min)

LILY Tube Short: Staying True to Inspiration (1min)

This week’s podcast is featured on both LILY Pod and LILY Tube (listen/watch options) where Cathy Teichert & Stephanie Goodman have an empowering conversation about what it means to “Woman Up.” In our weekly video, Jeff & Cathy share ways to find more joy and wholeness, independent of relationship status. Watch our featured short on staying true to inspiration.

If you enjoy this letter, forward to a friend. Our goal is to support as many mid-singles and later-married couples as possible!

To get a copy of "Intentional Courtship" on Amazon and create more love in your life in 2022, visit Intentional Courtship.

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