One of the saddest tasks I ever performed as an attorney was handling the divorce of a Bishop in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I had known him for many years. The divorce itself was not acrimonious. The bishop and his wife agreed readily about most elements of their settlement. Both were […]

In October General Conference this year, Elder Uchtdorf said: "We need an ongoing, daily infusion of heavenly light. We need 'times of refreshing.' Times of personal restoration." Mid-singles who have experienced painful losses often feel a sense that the identity, happiness, and wholeness they once felt has been shattered. Speaking of the restoration of the […]

"If I can choose what is placed on my tombstone, it will be this: "Patriot and Statesman; Loving Husband, Father, and Friend; Man of God." I have not yet reached my potential in any of these areas, and in many ways I feel like I have fallen very short. But I'm still a young man […]

There is a whole chapter in Intentional Courtship (which will be released tomorrow, November 5th!) entitled "Online Dating: the Wild West of Mid-Single Life." In January of the year 1540, a little bit before the invention of the internet, England's King Henry VIII married his fourth wife, the German princess Anne of Cleves from Dusseldorf. […]

I address this question to Latter-day Saint men in Chapter 6 of Intentional Courtship. The reasons are actually quite profound. Many Latter-day Saint mid-singles have lost temple marriages. Many are cynical and jaded and believe that temple marriage is for the optimistic young couple with their whole lives ahead of them. I have heard many […]

As some of you know, Cathy and I each had a brief second marriage following lengthy first marriages. We disclose and discuss this in our book, Intentional Courtship. In my case, a deal breaker issue showed up a few days after I got engaged. I went ahead with the wedding because I allowed her to […]

"Intentional Courtship" will be released in five days. One of the most important messages of this book is that there is life after divorce or the death of a loved one. Teaching the idea that joy can grow from tragedy is a central reason we founded LILY. Even more significant than your devastating loss is […]

We discuss this sentiment at some length in "Intentional Courtship," which we will be releasing on November 5th. I have seen various comments of this kind on social media probably hundreds of times since I became a mid-single about 13 years ago. The comment usually comes from men. Before I answer the question, I want […]

As you may know by now, we are releasing our long-awaited book, "Intentional Courtship: a Mid-Singles Guide to Peace, Progress, and Pairing up in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints," on November 5th. Intentional Courtship contains a lot of counsel and information about coping with loss and recovery from pain and trauma through […]