February 1, 2024
LILY Letter 147: Communicating Without Contention

We recently had a disagreement where one of us suggested having a deeper conversation about the topic to figure out how we could both have what we wanted. The other said, "How is that possible? How could we both have what we want?" Demanding the solution at the beginning of a discussion suggests that we […]

Read More
March 3, 2022
COULD DIVORCE BE PART OF GOD'S PLAN?

In our religion, we value marriage highly--more than anything except perhaps God Himself. We believe marriage is central to His plan of happiness. Accordingly, when a marriage fails, we often think we have failed at life. We have often heard talks in church about how the divorce rate reflects the failings of a wicked world. […]

Read More
October 31, 2021
ON THE OTHER SIDE OF TRAGEDY

"Intentional Courtship" will be released in five days. One of the most important messages of this book is that there is life after divorce or the death of a loved one. Teaching the idea that joy can grow from tragedy is a central reason we founded LILY. Even more significant than your devastating loss is […]

Read More
September 21, 2021
WHY DOES CONFLICT HAPPEN?

Many of us went through marriages where there was a lot of conflict--whether outwardly expressed or subtle hostility lurking below the surface. Conflict can be very traumatic, and that part of our histories makes many reluctant to date or move toward new relationships. So, why does it happen? How does a relationship that starts out […]

Read More
August 23, 2021
THE LORD WORKS IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS

This is a picture of me with Attorney General Sean Reyes at the AG's Summer Family Picnic earlier this month. 23 years ago, I left a job in another state where my friend Adam was one of my co-workers. I felt the job was a bad fit for me, and a lot of the time […]

Read More
August 3, 2021
ABOUT MARRYING THE WRONG PERSON

I very much relate to the idea expressed in this meme, which is that many of us have trauma from former relationships that makes us fearful of innocuous behaviors that we might see  moving forward. You may find yourself defensively telling a dating partner about something your former spouse used to do that hurt you, […]

Read More
July 26, 2021
WHEN THINGS GO WRONG

This summer I have been so busy transitioning to a career change and also working on Love In Later Years that I have not been out on my bike at all . . . like since April. Yesterday afternoon I got to a good stopping place and decided to take 40-minutes for myself and go […]

Read More
Love in Later Years © 2021
Privacy Policy