January 18, 2024
LILY Letter 145: Your Best Chance to Beat the Odds

"I am divorced because my former spouse 'went off the deep end,' 'had an affair,' or 'laid around in his underwear all day looking at porn instead of working.'" Or how about "I picked a better person this time, so things will be fine." How many times have we heard this kind of thinking in the mid-single […]

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February 9, 2022
WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE CONFIDENT?

For men, shame is most often manifest by feeling ashamed to be seen as weak. What was the most shameful thing you experienced in elementary school? Chances are that it involved being beaten up or bullied on the playground. I don't know if that is cultural or in our DNA. Whatever the reason, men have […]

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October 4, 2021
ABOUT HONESTY

In our Facebook group, I have frequently written about the importance of authenticity and vulnerability to create trust--even trust in yourself. If you can be vulnerable and open about yourself, then when someone chooses to love you, you can believe that they love the real you and not the mask you are wearing. It helps […]

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September 27, 2021
WHY DO PRE-MARITAL COACHING?

I am different because my former spouse "went off the deep end," "had an affair," or "laid around in his underwear all day looking at porn instead of working." "I picked a better person this time, so things will be fine." How many times have we heard this kind of thinking in the mid-single community? […]

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August 8, 2021
ABOUT CONTROL AND TRUST

I wrote this re-shared post (below) 9 years ago when I was struggling to recover from a divorce from my kids' mom. I encountered a lot of singles during my mid-single years who tended to be controlling in relationships and, alternatively, to keep relationships distant to avoid being controlled. At the end of the day, […]

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July 15, 2021
LILY Pod 22: The Power of Intention

New on LILY Pod: "The Power of Intention" Jeff & Cathy discuss using the power of intention to consciously act in our best interest instead of falling prey to destructive impulses. This principle can empower us to create connected relationships and achieve other life-enhancing goals. "When you have clarity of intention, the universe conspires with […]

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