October 31, 2023
LILY Letter 134: Overcoming the FEAR of Intimacy

This week we have a special holiday treat for you! Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife joins us for a very special Halloween themed interview on "Overcoming the FEAR of Intimacy." She is a relationship and sexuality coach with a Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology who teaches LDS couples and individuals how to strengthen their relationships, overcome relational and […]

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November 8, 2022
LILY Letter 83: Giving Your Heart a Chance

In July 2015, the Arbinger Institute published, "The Anatomy of Peace: Resolving the Heart of Conflict. The fundamental premise of the book is that our hearts are either at war with each other or at peace, and that peace in our hearts creates peace in the home, the community, and the world. A heart at […]

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August 13, 2022
HOW MUCH SHOULD WE HEAL BEFORE DATING?

Cathy and I often advise those who have been through a traumatic relationship loss to take some time to heal before venturing back out into the dating world. Sometimes, I think we might have overdone this. We recently attended weddings for two middle aged couples, both of whom had done a lot of intentional healing […]

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May 31, 2022
LILY Letter 60: The Right Kind of Confidence

Many women told me during my mid-single years that confidence in a man was sexy. I believe there is a survival function in female attraction to a confident man. A bold and confident man is a good protector and is more likely to discourage potential attackers and predators. The problem with this wisdom is that, […]

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March 29, 2022
LILY Letter 51: Living & Loving Boldly

Our message this week is to "live boldly" by being your authentic self in wise vulnerable ways with those you believe will accept you as you are, and to "love boldly" by encouraging others to be honest about who they are and to love them unconditionally. To practice "real love" is to be a "wise […]

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March 1, 2022
LILY Letter 47: What is Real Love?

Jesus said, ”Whosoever drinketh of this water shall thirst again: But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life" (John 4:13-14). Real love is that pure Christlike love that […]

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February 15, 2022
LILY Letter 45: Strong Men

The National Institute of Mental Health cited statistics showing the suicide rate among males was 3.7 times higher than among females. For centuries we have been socialized to believe that men are the stronger sex and exist to protect and provide for women. As Lea Winerman wrote: “Try to imagine the Marlboro man in therapy. […]

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February 12, 2022
WOMEN: CAN YOU TREAT MEN AS EQUALS IN LOVE?

Friends, I want to address you on something that has been weighing heavy on my heart for awhile now. I have been reluctant to bring this up, because I feel it personally. But the issue is bigger than my personal feelings. As Cathy and I have worked to write a book and create LILY, we […]

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February 9, 2022
WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE CONFIDENT?

For men, shame is most often manifest by feeling ashamed to be seen as weak. What was the most shameful thing you experienced in elementary school? Chances are that it involved being beaten up or bullied on the playground. I don't know if that is cultural or in our DNA. Whatever the reason, men have […]

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