January 10, 2023
LILY Letter 92: Essential Healing for Successful Dating

Many people say time heals all wounds. We say bunk! Passively waiting for a period of time without any concentration on growth isn't going to heal you at all. Jeff has a friend who was divorced two years prior to Jeff's divorce. He has been single for approximately 12 years and is still telling his […]

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November 29, 2022
LILY Letter 86: Choosing Power and Joy

​​With very personal and poignant experience, I (Jeff) have learned that it is far better to approach adversity with strength rather than weakness. When my brother died in 1993, I gained weight, my academic performance dropped, and I looked depressed — because I was. When I got divorced in 2010, I was so distraught I […]

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March 16, 2022
WHAT IF YOUR FORMER SPOUSE IS TOXIC?

You want a peaceful co-parenting relationship right? In some cases, I hear divorcees say "I can't have a peaceful relationship with my former because [he or she] is an abusive narcissist." And it's quite true. There are some people who are so bitter and self-involved that they can't play nicely with others, no matter how […]

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December 10, 2021
ABOUT CONDESCENSION

A few days ago, I made a post about how it is important not to censor or shame our partners in public. Today, I came across this post in "The UnWed Community" (link below) where the author wrote about seeing a conversation in a supermarket over milk where the wife said to her husband, "no, […]

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October 29, 2021
"WHY WON'T ANYONE GIVE ME A CHANCE?"

We discuss this sentiment at some length in "Intentional Courtship," which we will be releasing on November 5th. I have seen various comments of this kind on social media probably hundreds of times since I became a mid-single about 13 years ago. The comment usually comes from men. Before I answer the question, I want […]

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