January 9, 2023
A WORD FOR THE YEAR?

Every January, social media is full of posts where people announce their choice for a word as their theme for the year. In 2022, I also decided to choose a word. As I thought about what word to choose, what kept coming to me was the word “sanctify.” Little did I know at the time […]

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August 9, 2022
LILY Letter 70: Getting Toxic Out of You and Your Life

President Ezra Taft Benson famously said, "The Lord works from the inside out. The world works from the outside in. The world would take people out of the slums. Christ would take the slums out of people, and then they would take themselves out of the slums." We want to emphasize that toxicity finds a […]

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March 1, 2022
PUBLIC VS. PRIVATE TRIALS

Over the weekend, Jeff and I had the opportunity to attend a portion of the "BYU Life After Divorce Conference" (which we were invited to observe as potential presenters for next year). The ending keynote was given by Brad Wilcox, who talked about public versus private trials (among other things). He reminded us that Jesus […]

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December 23, 2021
AN UNUSUAL ANNIVERSARY

December 23, 2016, five years ago today, was one of those days when I said, like so many of you, "I hate dating!" It was the day Cathy broke up with me. I could tell it was coming for about a month. It had become increasingly obvious that her heart was not in our relationship […]

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December 22, 2021
OF DISAPPOINTMENT AND PAIN

Have you ever stood over the crib and watched your young child sleeping and felt overwhelming love wash over you, only to be replaced by the gripping fear, "What if something happens to him/her?" And that thought steals your happiness and peace in a moment that might be one of unadulterated joy. Brene Brown used […]

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December 6, 2021
THE "FORM" FOR MEETING DATING PARTNERS

F amily O ccupation R ecreation M e During my mission in Australia, one of the mission leaders, Elder Mick Jupi, used to teach a formula for talking to potential investigators. He said to remember the acronym "FORM" for Family, Occupation, Recreation, and Message (which I changed to "Me" for dating FORM). The idea was […]

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November 10, 2021
TO FORGIVE IS ROYAL

In 1979, the Irish Republican Army ("IRA") placed explosives on a fishing boat owned by Louis the Earl of Mountbatten, and detonated them for the purpose of assassinating him. Mountbatten was killed in the violent explosion along with a number of his grandchildren. By way of background, Mountbatten was a towering figure in Great Britain. […]

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November 9, 2021
WHAT ABOUT COMMUNICATING YOUR FEELINGS?

One of the saddest tasks I ever performed as an attorney was handling the divorce of a Bishop in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I had known him for many years. The divorce itself was not acrimonious. The bishop and his wife agreed readily about most elements of their settlement. Both were […]

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September 21, 2021
WHY DOES CONFLICT HAPPEN?

Many of us went through marriages where there was a lot of conflict--whether outwardly expressed or subtle hostility lurking below the surface. Conflict can be very traumatic, and that part of our histories makes many reluctant to date or move toward new relationships. So, why does it happen? How does a relationship that starts out […]

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