January 18, 2024
LILY Letter 145: Your Best Chance to Beat the Odds

"I am divorced because my former spouse 'went off the deep end,' 'had an affair,' or 'laid around in his underwear all day looking at porn instead of working.'" Or how about "I picked a better person this time, so things will be fine." How many times have we heard this kind of thinking in the mid-single […]

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July 11, 2023
LILY Letter 118: Thriving After Divorce

There are so many wonderful things we can do to heal from trauma and thrive after divorce. We believe all sustainable healing that establishes peace in our lives is obtained intentionally and purposefully.  Trauma is essentially the fear stored in your mind and body from previous moments of danger. When our bodies experience something that […]

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August 23, 2022
LILY Letter 72: The Courage to Love Again

One of the most common refrains we hear from mid-singles is “I hate dating.” In the vast majority of situations, the individual doesn’t actually “hate dating.” He or she hates rejection. He or she hates being judged. Rejection in dating often feels deeply personal, and it requires a lot of emotional maturity to cope with […]

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August 2, 2022
LILY Letter 69: From Trauma to Truth

We started ministering to mid-singles because they were underserved. Mid-singles are unique. Their needs are fundamentally different from those of most married and settled people. One of the biggest ways mid-singles are different comes down to trauma. Mid-singles and and even former mid-singles who have remarried have almost all experienced major losses, disappointments, and pain […]

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June 16, 2022
LILY Letter 62: How Connection and Compassion Save Lives

This month we interviewed Julie Lee, author of "I See You: How Connection and Compassion Save Lives." In the movie Avatar, the main character, Jake Sully, learns the phrase "I see you" from Neytiri, his love interest among the Na'vi people on the planet Pandora. To the Na'vi, "I see you" means more than noticing. […]

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February 20, 2022
ARE MID-SINGLES JUST THE LEFTOVERS?

About a month ago, I saw a post where a mid-single person commented, "We are just the leftovers. Get used to it." I've pondered that characterization a lot since then. Is it true? Are mid-singles just the leftovers that nobody else wanted? I have also sometimes heard people refer to mid-singles as an "Island of […]

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December 22, 2021
OF DISAPPOINTMENT AND PAIN

Have you ever stood over the crib and watched your young child sleeping and felt overwhelming love wash over you, only to be replaced by the gripping fear, "What if something happens to him/her?" And that thought steals your happiness and peace in a moment that might be one of unadulterated joy. Brene Brown used […]

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November 10, 2021
TO FORGIVE IS ROYAL

In 1979, the Irish Republican Army ("IRA") placed explosives on a fishing boat owned by Louis the Earl of Mountbatten, and detonated them for the purpose of assassinating him. Mountbatten was killed in the violent explosion along with a number of his grandchildren. By way of background, Mountbatten was a towering figure in Great Britain. […]

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October 28, 2021
DEALING WITH THE COLLATERAL DAMAGE OF DIVORCE

As you may know by now, we are releasing our long-awaited book, "Intentional Courtship: a Mid-Singles Guide to Peace, Progress, and Pairing up in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints," on November 5th. Intentional Courtship contains a lot of counsel and information about coping with loss and recovery from pain and trauma through […]

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