December 14, 2023
LILY Letter 140: Up-Level Your Life & Relationships

Our mission as single life & relationship coaches is to help single adults who want to intentionally heal from loss and actively create happy lives with healthy relationships. "Many have told me of doing everything humanly possible to change a negative attitude or rescue a spoiled relationship, only to fail again and again and finally […]

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December 7, 2023
LILY Letter 139: Recovering From Grief & Completing Relationships

According to The Grief Recovery Handbook, grief is defined as: 1. a normal, natural reaction to any loss. 2. conflicting feelings when something familiar changes or ends. While studying this evidence-based method, proven to lessen the pain of any loss, we learn that grief is much broader than previously supposed. Even positive life changes -- […]

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May 16, 2023
LILY Letter 110: Honoring Single Mothers

We just celebrated Mother's Day. We believe holidays can last all month. This month, and especially this week, we encourage each of our readers to reach out to their single mom friends to offer appreciation and support in what can be a pretty thankless and heavy stewardship they carry. Whether you are a single mom, […]

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January 10, 2023
LILY Letter 92: Essential Healing for Successful Dating

Many people say time heals all wounds. We say bunk! Passively waiting for a period of time without any concentration on growth isn't going to heal you at all. Jeff has a friend who was divorced two years prior to Jeff's divorce. He has been single for approximately 12 years and is still telling his […]

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August 23, 2022
LILY Letter 72: The Courage to Love Again

One of the most common refrains we hear from mid-singles is “I hate dating.” In the vast majority of situations, the individual doesn’t actually “hate dating.” He or she hates rejection. He or she hates being judged. Rejection in dating often feels deeply personal, and it requires a lot of emotional maturity to cope with […]

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June 20, 2022
ABOUT MID-SINGLE EXHAUSTION

My first divorce exhausted me in mind, body, and spirit. I felt like I had just been kicked in the stomach all the time for about 4 years. I felt so much anxiety about all of the life changes occasioned by divorce that I couldn't even open my mail at certain times. I would think, […]

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June 7, 2022
LILY Letter 61: Maturing Past Need-Based Relationships

None of us has the choice to stop breathing or stop eating food. Sooner or later, stopping those activities would kill us. Both of those things are needs. If you need something, you cannot choose it because there is no other reasonable choice. In relationships, many of us want to be needed so our partners […]

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May 24, 2022
LILY Letter 59: Adjusting to Being Single Again

For me, the loneliness began before the formal separation as I watched my former wife disconnect and disengage. We lived in the same house, on different floors, for about 18 months. It created a toxic atmosphere that I found depleting both emotionally and physically. After I moved out of our home, it occurred to me […]

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April 30, 2022
HOW DO I ADJUST TO BEING SINGLE?

A reader of my weekly column in Meridian Magazine recently wrote in asking for "an article regarding the men/women that are left behind after many years of marriage. A stage that many of us have never gone [through] before of being alone." It's a good question. For me, the loneliness actually began before the formal […]

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