February 22, 2024
LILY Letter 150: Growth in Hardship and Success

In this week's video, we discuss why God allows us to suffer pain. It's a natural human tendency when we are in a lot of pain to wonder why God would allow it if He loves us and wants us to have joy. In our faith, we are taught the plan of happiness - that […]

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September 27, 2023
LILY Letter 129: When "D" is Good For You (& When It's Not)

In this week's video, we discuss the use of the "D" word in marriage--the "D" word being "divorce." It is NOT good to include this word in marital vocabulary if what you really want is an atmosphere of safety, security and loving connection. It is important to make very clear commitments with yourself about not […]

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February 20, 2022
ARE MID-SINGLES JUST THE LEFTOVERS?

About a month ago, I saw a post where a mid-single person commented, "We are just the leftovers. Get used to it." I've pondered that characterization a lot since then. Is it true? Are mid-singles just the leftovers that nobody else wanted? I have also sometimes heard people refer to mid-singles as an "Island of […]

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January 28, 2022
DOES YOUR FORMER SPOUSE HAVE TO FEEL BAD FOR YOU TO FEEL GOOD?

One of the most often repeated phrases people said to me as I was going through my divorce from my kids' mom was, "Some day she'll be sorry." Another one that I often got was, "The best revenge is living a happy life after your divorce." Is that really so? I have often heard people […]

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December 22, 2021
OF DISAPPOINTMENT AND PAIN

Have you ever stood over the crib and watched your young child sleeping and felt overwhelming love wash over you, only to be replaced by the gripping fear, "What if something happens to him/her?" And that thought steals your happiness and peace in a moment that might be one of unadulterated joy. Brene Brown used […]

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November 2, 2021
WHY THE TEMPLE?

I address this question to Latter-day Saint men in Chapter 6 of Intentional Courtship. The reasons are actually quite profound. Many Latter-day Saint mid-singles have lost temple marriages. Many are cynical and jaded and believe that temple marriage is for the optimistic young couple with their whole lives ahead of them. I have heard many […]

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September 29, 2021
MEANINGS

Early in my first marriage, I remember having a conversation with my wife about sex. I told her I thought it was the deepest expression of love. She didn't see it that way. I asked her how she saw it and she told me, "It's just something fun we do together." Who was right? We […]

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June 12, 2021
A SIGN OF GRACE

I took this picture during a lunar eclipse on February 21, 2008 from the balcony of my home in Washington. 2008 was the last year my former wife and I were together. As I look back on the night that moon appeared, I am reminded of a couple of things. Even when our circumstances are […]

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