February 8, 2022
LILY Letter 44: Romance or Independence?

Valentine’s Day is nearly upon us and, for many, it brings more pressure and fear than joy. Pressure to meet the expectations of another can take the joy out of almost any celebration. Singles who don’t yet have a special person to celebrate with can feel this void more acutely as this holiday approaches. Many […]

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December 6, 2021
THE "FORM" FOR MEETING DATING PARTNERS

F amily O ccupation R ecreation M e During my mission in Australia, one of the mission leaders, Elder Mick Jupi, used to teach a formula for talking to potential investigators. He said to remember the acronym "FORM" for Family, Occupation, Recreation, and Message (which I changed to "Me" for dating FORM). The idea was […]

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November 23, 2021
THE HOLIDAY: A FILM REVIEW

The 2006 movie "The Holiday" is available on Netflix for one more week. I had the chance to watch it again with Cathy recently. It strikes me that this movie contains some themes that are particularly relevant to this group. The film involves four mid-single adults trying to find their way. Amanda Woods (Cameron Diaz) […]

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October 4, 2021
ABOUT HONESTY

In our Facebook group, I have frequently written about the importance of authenticity and vulnerability to create trust--even trust in yourself. If you can be vulnerable and open about yourself, then when someone chooses to love you, you can believe that they love the real you and not the mask you are wearing. It helps […]

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September 21, 2021
WHY DOES CONFLICT HAPPEN?

Many of us went through marriages where there was a lot of conflict--whether outwardly expressed or subtle hostility lurking below the surface. Conflict can be very traumatic, and that part of our histories makes many reluctant to date or move toward new relationships. So, why does it happen? How does a relationship that starts out […]

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September 1, 2021
ABOUT TRYING TOO HARD

We've all done it. You are finally on that date with that special person you've been wanting to get to know when he or she states an opinion that you don't agree with. You nod and pretend to agree, even though in your heart you don't. What about the guy who hears an attractive woman […]

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July 27, 2021
LILY Letter 16: Risks Worth Taking

You cannot find love without risk. This is a fundamental law of nature. Ultimately, the games we play in dating are all attempts to violate this law. You might ask your friend to talk to the person and see if they can tease out a revelation about that person’s feelings for you, without telling the […]

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June 25, 2021
LILY Pod 17: Self Image

The mid-single community is made up of unique and diverse men and women with interesting life stories. However, we have observed at least one thing that almost all mid-singles have in common. They are survivors. Virtually every mid-single we have known has a story of profound loss—whether it is the passing of a beloved spouse, […]

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May 25, 2021
LILY Letter 7: LOVE is the Two Great Commandments

When asked the greatest commandment, Jesus answered: “…Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself” (Matthew 22:37-39). Loving God, ourselves, and our neighbors is at the […]

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