January 26, 2024
LILY Letter 146: Getting Clear About Relationship Status

January 23rd was the sixth anniversary of our third first kiss. Less than four months later, we were sealed for time and all eternity in the Provo City Center Temple on 5/11/2018. You might be asking how a kiss could be a “first kiss” if it was “third.” If you’ve read our book, Intentional Courtship, you […]

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January 18, 2024
LILY Letter 145: Your Best Chance to Beat the Odds

"I am divorced because my former spouse 'went off the deep end,' 'had an affair,' or 'laid around in his underwear all day looking at porn instead of working.'" Or how about "I picked a better person this time, so things will be fine." How many times have we heard this kind of thinking in the mid-single […]

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December 7, 2023
LILY Letter 139: Recovering From Grief & Completing Relationships

According to The Grief Recovery Handbook, grief is defined as: 1. a normal, natural reaction to any loss. 2. conflicting feelings when something familiar changes or ends. While studying this evidence-based method, proven to lessen the pain of any loss, we learn that grief is much broader than previously supposed. Even positive life changes -- […]

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March 21, 2023
LILY Letter 102: Long Distance Relationships

Some ask why they should consider a long distance relationship, when they are typically more difficult and more complicated than a relationship with someone who lives in the same town. There are several reasons: 1. You may be in a remote location church-wise. If you really believe in the blessings of eternal marriage and take […]

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September 13, 2022
LILY Letter 75: The Power of Mindfulness

For most of us, life offers us a plethora of options that keep us super busy and many of us are over taxed and stressed out. Life is more uncertain for many people now than ever before because of the fast pace of life with technology. This leaves many of us with serious anxiety and […]

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May 31, 2022
LILY Letter 60: The Right Kind of Confidence

Many women told me during my mid-single years that confidence in a man was sexy. I believe there is a survival function in female attraction to a confident man. A bold and confident man is a good protector and is more likely to discourage potential attackers and predators. The problem with this wisdom is that, […]

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February 15, 2022
LILY Letter 45: Strong Men

The National Institute of Mental Health cited statistics showing the suicide rate among males was 3.7 times higher than among females. For centuries we have been socialized to believe that men are the stronger sex and exist to protect and provide for women. As Lea Winerman wrote: “Try to imagine the Marlboro man in therapy. […]

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December 22, 2021
OF DISAPPOINTMENT AND PAIN

Have you ever stood over the crib and watched your young child sleeping and felt overwhelming love wash over you, only to be replaced by the gripping fear, "What if something happens to him/her?" And that thought steals your happiness and peace in a moment that might be one of unadulterated joy. Brene Brown used […]

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November 9, 2021
WHAT ABOUT COMMUNICATING YOUR FEELINGS?

One of the saddest tasks I ever performed as an attorney was handling the divorce of a Bishop in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I had known him for many years. The divorce itself was not acrimonious. The bishop and his wife agreed readily about most elements of their settlement. Both were […]

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