July 19, 2022
LILY Letter 67: Creating Positive Associations in the Dating World

After dating on and off for several months, I (Jeff) wanted a more committed relationship than Cathy felt ready for so she decided to discontinue dating me. Not surprisingly, I was hurt and disappointed and did not handle the situation as well as I could have. However, after a few months without contact, I began […]

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October 27, 2021
ASKING FOR A DATE AND STARTING A CONVERSATION

There is a lot of discussion on this subject in "Intentional Courtship," which we will be releasing in a couple of weeks. Let me say, for the record, that the first two times I tried to message Cathy on Facebook, she didn't respond. The third time, she did and we had a good conversation. There […]

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October 21, 2021
WHAT DO COUPLES FIGHT ABOUT?

In this short video clip, Dr. John Gottman says he is asked this question all the time, and "the number one thing people fight about is nothing." He uses the example of the TV remote control, which ends up being a symbol of control in the relationship. The point is, of course, that most of […]

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