January 31, 2023
LILY Letter 95: The Law of Unintended Consequences

The law of unintended consequences is a frequently observed phenomenon in which any action has results that are not part of the actor's purpose. The superfluous consequences may or may not be foreseeable or even immediately observable and they may be beneficial, harmful, or neutral in their impact. For example, our government printed $4 trillion […]

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February 2, 2022
ARE YOU STUCK IN GROUNDHOG DAY?

Below is my son, Errol Teichert's analysis of the film "Groundhog Day" with Bill Murray and Andie McDowell. I've seen a bunch of articles on the internet that say that Groundhog Day has aged poorly. They cite: -Phil Connors kissing a woman without her consent. -Phil Connors manipulating a woman into sleeping with him. -Phil […]

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December 22, 2021
OF DISAPPOINTMENT AND PAIN

Have you ever stood over the crib and watched your young child sleeping and felt overwhelming love wash over you, only to be replaced by the gripping fear, "What if something happens to him/her?" And that thought steals your happiness and peace in a moment that might be one of unadulterated joy. Brene Brown used […]

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October 26, 2021
ARE YOU LOOKING FOR MR. OR MRS. OPPOSITE?

As many of you know, Cathy and I both had brief second marriages following lengthy first marriages. In one case, the prior marriage was to someone who stonewalled (simply shut down and refused to talk about anything difficult or stressful). This is one of the Gottman's "Four Horsemen of the Marriage Apocalypse." After that kind […]

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September 29, 2021
MEANINGS

Early in my first marriage, I remember having a conversation with my wife about sex. I told her I thought it was the deepest expression of love. She didn't see it that way. I asked her how she saw it and she told me, "It's just something fun we do together." Who was right? We […]

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September 27, 2021
WHY DO PRE-MARITAL COACHING?

I am different because my former spouse "went off the deep end," "had an affair," or "laid around in his underwear all day looking at porn instead of working." "I picked a better person this time, so things will be fine." How many times have we heard this kind of thinking in the mid-single community? […]

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August 25, 2021
RELATIONSHIP GREEN FLAGS

When it comes to dating, Jeff and I have discussed the pitfalls of seeing and focusing on "red flags" in our book "Intentional Courtship" and on our "LILY Pod" podcast. Our friend Sheri Braithwaite from Dating Olympics posted this diagram in her Thriving Singles' Community. We LOVE this because it emphasizes a much more helpful focus in a […]

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July 15, 2021
A LEAP OF FAITH

In primitive times, if you were rejected by your tribe, you would probably die Being loved by those in your tribe is a deep human need with an important survival function. It is deeply embedded in our DNA to do everything we can to be accepted. In an eternal sense, we understand that the loving […]

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