June 27, 2023
LILY Letter 116: Developing a Positive Outlook on Dating & Relationships

We've heard so many single adults say "I hate dating." Why is that? Perhaps there are as many answers as there are people. But I think they all come down to something deep in our nature that dislikes being judged. And dating gives you more opportunities to be judged than almost anything else. When we […]

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February 21, 2023
LILY Letter 98: Being Stubborn with Your Joy

In 2 Nephi 2:25 the prophet Lehi teaches, "Adam fell that men might be, and men are that they might have JOY." This short verse flies in the face of one of the most elemental teachings of mainstream Christianity, namely, that Adam's fall took away our joy and condemned us all to live in a […]

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June 20, 2022
ABOUT MID-SINGLE EXHAUSTION

My first divorce exhausted me in mind, body, and spirit. I felt like I had just been kicked in the stomach all the time for about 4 years. I felt so much anxiety about all of the life changes occasioned by divorce that I couldn't even open my mail at certain times. I would think, […]

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June 6, 2022
IS THERE ANYONE OUT THERE FOR ME?

This is a question asked by many who have reached their 30s or 40s without marrying. It is also asked by many who are divorced or widowed. For the divorced, they once believed the search was over, and they were glad to be done with the dating game. Some believed they had gotten really lucky […]

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April 30, 2022
HOW DO I ADJUST TO BEING SINGLE?

A reader of my weekly column in Meridian Magazine recently wrote in asking for "an article regarding the men/women that are left behind after many years of marriage. A stage that many of us have never gone [through] before of being alone." It's a good question. For me, the loneliness actually began before the formal […]

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March 3, 2022
COULD DIVORCE BE PART OF GOD'S PLAN?

In our religion, we value marriage highly--more than anything except perhaps God Himself. We believe marriage is central to His plan of happiness. Accordingly, when a marriage fails, we often think we have failed at life. We have often heard talks in church about how the divorce rate reflects the failings of a wicked world. […]

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March 1, 2022
PUBLIC VS. PRIVATE TRIALS

Over the weekend, Jeff and I had the opportunity to attend a portion of the "BYU Life After Divorce Conference" (which we were invited to observe as potential presenters for next year). The ending keynote was given by Brad Wilcox, who talked about public versus private trials (among other things). He reminded us that Jesus […]

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October 31, 2021
ON THE OTHER SIDE OF TRAGEDY

"Intentional Courtship" will be released in five days. One of the most important messages of this book is that there is life after divorce or the death of a loved one. Teaching the idea that joy can grow from tragedy is a central reason we founded LILY. Even more significant than your devastating loss is […]

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October 15, 2021
PILGRIMS ON THE PATH OF GLORY

My wise cousin, Violet Rose Clift, wrote the very vulnerable essay below, about how her earthly father and Heavenly Father sustained her in the most painful moment of her life--and since then. It was a moment when she doubted whether God cared for her at all. Looking back, she can see that God was there. […]

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