May 30, 2023
LILY Letter 112: After Divorce, How Soon Should I Date?

How many stories have we heard about people who start to date while their divorces are pending, get engaged shortly afterward, and are married two or three months after the divorce is final? We've heard a lot of them. The brief second marriage appears to be a common phenomenon in our faith community. (We each […]

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May 3, 2022
LILY Letter 56: Moving On or Moving Forward

There comes a crossroads moment in every dating relationship where the relationship needs to become exclusive and move toward marriage or transition to friendship and discontinue dating each other. These are the most difficult decisions we face in dating. Each person will have his or her own set of considerations that are most important in […]

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April 5, 2022
LILY Letter 52: Are Mid-Singles the Leftovers?

A mid-single person once commented in a singles group: "We are just the leftovers. Get used to it." I've pondered that characterization a lot since then. Is it true? Are mid-singles just the leftovers that nobody else wanted? I have also sometimes heard people refer to mid-singles as an "Island of Misfit Toys." How about […]

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March 24, 2022
AMERICAN UNDERDOG: A FILM REVIEW FOR MID-SINGLES

Cathy and I recently had the chance to see the film American Underdog, which is the story of Hall of Fame quarterback Kurt Warner. Based on my years as a divorcee and the consequent difficult life circumstances, I enjoyed and related to this film very much. I was a fan of Kurt Warner when he was […]

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March 11, 2022
GOD GIVE US MEN

What follows is a poem by Josiah Gilbert Holland expressing a view of honorable manhood from a bygone age. We live in a time where men are afraid to be men, and where their place in the world is often dishonored. While the loudest voices are telling us that we are no longer needed, many […]

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February 8, 2022
LILY Letter 44: Romance or Independence?

Valentine’s Day is nearly upon us and, for many, it brings more pressure and fear than joy. Pressure to meet the expectations of another can take the joy out of almost any celebration. Singles who don’t yet have a special person to celebrate with can feel this void more acutely as this holiday approaches. Many […]

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November 8, 2021
TRUST THE PROCESS

In October General Conference this year, Elder Uchtdorf said: "We need an ongoing, daily infusion of heavenly light. We need 'times of refreshing.' Times of personal restoration." Mid-singles who have experienced painful losses often feel a sense that the identity, happiness, and wholeness they once felt has been shattered. Speaking of the restoration of the […]

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August 17, 2021
LILY Letter 19: Finding Peace

Intentional Courtship: A Mid-Singles Guide to Peace, Progress and Pairing Up in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is about so much more than dating. Our book is divided up into 3 sections. “Part One: Peace—Laying a Foundation” includes the first eight chapters, which are dedicated to finding peace with whatever challenges have […]

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August 3, 2021
ABOUT MARRYING THE WRONG PERSON

I very much relate to the idea expressed in this meme, which is that many of us have trauma from former relationships that makes us fearful of innocuous behaviors that we might see  moving forward. You may find yourself defensively telling a dating partner about something your former spouse used to do that hurt you, […]

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