January 11, 2024
LILY Letter 144: How to Talk to Dating Partners About Your Past

Since the audience for this letter is primarily Latter-day Saint single adults, it is almost inevitable that some of you did things you are not proud of that contributed to a divorce. Such misdeeds could include an affair (either sexual or emotional or both), serious dishonesty with a former spouse, substance abuse issues, or the […]

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October 26, 2023
LILY Letter 133: The Recipe for Remarriage

Remarriage is typically preceded by a process of relationship loss recovery, reentering the dating world, choosing to commit to a new person and ultimately create a new family and a new life. So what's the recipe? If you have consumed much of the material we produce at LILY, you know we aren't huge fans of […]

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May 9, 2023
LILY Letter 109: Wishing Everyone Well (Anniversary Edition)

This week we celebrate our 5-year wedding anniversary. We were sealed in the Provo City Center Temple May 11, 2018. For our single readers who long for a joyful temple marriage, we believe one day that joy will be yours! How do you want people to respond when it's your turn to celebrate new love […]

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May 2, 2023
LILY Letter 108: Having Hard Conversations

The kindest thing we can do in a relationship is to speak truth in a compassionate yet assertive way. However, most of us tend to avoid having hard conversations and the discomfort and unknown repercussions that can come with them. The following four scenarios are examples of why we tend to avoid hard conversations and […]

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March 21, 2023
LILY Letter 102: Long Distance Relationships

Some ask why they should consider a long distance relationship, when they are typically more difficult and more complicated than a relationship with someone who lives in the same town. There are several reasons: 1. You may be in a remote location church-wise. If you really believe in the blessings of eternal marriage and take […]

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March 14, 2023
LILY Letter 101: Happy St. Patrick's!

Seven years ago this St. Patrick's Day, Cathy posted a selfie wearing a green shirt emblazoned with a shamrock and the words, "Looking for my Lucky Charm." That day, her eternal companion entered her life. Jeff saw her post and sent her a friend request. We became Facebook friends on St. Patrick's in 2016 so St. […]

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August 9, 2022
LILY Letter 70: Getting Toxic Out of You and Your Life

President Ezra Taft Benson famously said, "The Lord works from the inside out. The world works from the outside in. The world would take people out of the slums. Christ would take the slums out of people, and then they would take themselves out of the slums." We want to emphasize that toxicity finds a […]

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August 2, 2022
LILY Letter 69: From Trauma to Truth

We started ministering to mid-singles because they were underserved. Mid-singles are unique. Their needs are fundamentally different from those of most married and settled people. One of the biggest ways mid-singles are different comes down to trauma. Mid-singles and and even former mid-singles who have remarried have almost all experienced major losses, disappointments, and pain […]

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July 19, 2022
LILY Letter 67: Creating Positive Associations in the Dating World

After dating on and off for several months, I (Jeff) wanted a more committed relationship than Cathy felt ready for so she decided to discontinue dating me. Not surprisingly, I was hurt and disappointed and did not handle the situation as well as I could have. However, after a few months without contact, I began […]

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