December 14, 2023
LILY Letter 140: Up-Level Your Life & Relationships

Our mission as single life & relationship coaches is to help single adults who want to intentionally heal from loss and actively create happy lives with healthy relationships. "Many have told me of doing everything humanly possible to change a negative attitude or rescue a spoiled relationship, only to fail again and again and finally […]

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March 3, 2022
COULD DIVORCE BE PART OF GOD'S PLAN?

In our religion, we value marriage highly--more than anything except perhaps God Himself. We believe marriage is central to His plan of happiness. Accordingly, when a marriage fails, we often think we have failed at life. We have often heard talks in church about how the divorce rate reflects the failings of a wicked world. […]

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December 6, 2021
THE "FORM" FOR MEETING DATING PARTNERS

F amily O ccupation R ecreation M e During my mission in Australia, one of the mission leaders, Elder Mick Jupi, used to teach a formula for talking to potential investigators. He said to remember the acronym "FORM" for Family, Occupation, Recreation, and Message (which I changed to "Me" for dating FORM). The idea was […]

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October 21, 2021
WHAT DO COUPLES FIGHT ABOUT?

In this short video clip, Dr. John Gottman says he is asked this question all the time, and "the number one thing people fight about is nothing." He uses the example of the TV remote control, which ends up being a symbol of control in the relationship. The point is, of course, that most of […]

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October 15, 2021
PILGRIMS ON THE PATH OF GLORY

My wise cousin, Violet Rose Clift, wrote the very vulnerable essay below, about how her earthly father and Heavenly Father sustained her in the most painful moment of her life--and since then. It was a moment when she doubted whether God cared for her at all. Looking back, she can see that God was there. […]

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October 13, 2021
"YOU MAKE ME FEEL . . ."

Do you ever make the mistake of attributing your feelings to someone else's words or behavior? Just to be really clear, your feelings exist inside of you. They are not transferred to you by another person. I do not mean to suggest that others have no effect on us. We are naturally social creatures and […]

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September 7, 2021
LILY Letter 22: Promises God Didn't Keep?

Many times have we heard divorced mid-singles express deep disappointment over the loss of a marriage saying, "I did everything I was supposed to. I went on a mission. I married a returned missionary in the temple. I kept the law of chastity before I was married and after. I paid my tithing and accepted […]

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June 10, 2021
SYMBOLISM & DIVINE DESIGN

11 is a very special number to us. In marriage, it represents the synergy that we intentionally create as a couple because 1+1 is not 2 but 11 (our whole is greater than the sum of it's parts). 11 has shown up a lot in our life as a couple...shortly after setting our wedding date […]

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