August 29, 2023
LILY Letter 125: Intentional Mindset

Paul wrote to the Romans about the power of an intentional mindset: "[B]e not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God" (Romans 12:2). These words suggest that resisting unhealthy corruption in the world requires […]

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January 10, 2023
LILY Letter 92: Essential Healing for Successful Dating

Many people say time heals all wounds. We say bunk! Passively waiting for a period of time without any concentration on growth isn't going to heal you at all. Jeff has a friend who was divorced two years prior to Jeff's divorce. He has been single for approximately 12 years and is still telling his […]

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December 1, 2022
MID-SINGLES, MISTLETOE, AND MAKING MERRY

For many over age 30 and not married or in a promising relationship, the holidays can be a desperately lonely time. You may look at others with spouses and children and watch them decorating homes and yards for the holidays and feel a longing ache. For those who are divorced, the holidays can be a […]

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February 1, 2022
LILY Letter 43: Love Month

I have sometimes wondered if Valentine's Day is worth it. For married people, it seems to be a time for crushed expectations and disappointment. Many complain that it adds pressure. For many singles, it is a poignant reminder of what they wish for and don't have. St. Valentine was a third century Roman Catholic. Since […]

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January 28, 2022
DOES YOUR FORMER SPOUSE HAVE TO FEEL BAD FOR YOU TO FEEL GOOD?

One of the most often repeated phrases people said to me as I was going through my divorce from my kids' mom was, "Some day she'll be sorry." Another one that I often got was, "The best revenge is living a happy life after your divorce." Is that really so? I have often heard people […]

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January 3, 2022
LILY Letter 91: Happy New Year!

Welcome to 2023! What are your plans? People often create New Year's resolutions this time of year, perhaps adopting a word to guide them in the coming year and striving to turn over a new leaf in some area of their life. It tends to be a fresh start, full of endless possibilities and desired […]

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October 14, 2021
LISTEN WITH YOUR HEART

Cathy and I recently presented at the Fall Conference of the Foundation for Family Life of Utah. While there, we met a man on the lunch-time panel who had spent most of his life in business. He told us that the secret to successful selling is the same as the secret to successful dating. "Make […]

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August 3, 2021
ABOUT MARRYING THE WRONG PERSON

I very much relate to the idea expressed in this meme, which is that many of us have trauma from former relationships that makes us fearful of innocuous behaviors that we might see  moving forward. You may find yourself defensively telling a dating partner about something your former spouse used to do that hurt you, […]

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