February 8, 2024
LILY Letter 148: Was My Failed Marriage a Waste of Time?

I met my eternal companion when I was 48 years old and married her when I was 50--as in five decades! Or a half century! How do you suppose I feel about that? At age 56, I am healthier, wealthier, wiser, and more spiritual than I was 30 years ago at age 26 when I married […]

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January 26, 2024
LILY Letter 146: Getting Clear About Relationship Status

January 23rd was the sixth anniversary of our third first kiss. Less than four months later, we were sealed for time and all eternity in the Provo City Center Temple on 5/11/2018. You might be asking how a kiss could be a “first kiss” if it was “third.” If you’ve read our book, Intentional Courtship, you […]

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December 7, 2023
LILY Letter 139: Recovering From Grief & Completing Relationships

According to The Grief Recovery Handbook, grief is defined as: 1. a normal, natural reaction to any loss. 2. conflicting feelings when something familiar changes or ends. While studying this evidence-based method, proven to lessen the pain of any loss, we learn that grief is much broader than previously supposed. Even positive life changes -- […]

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November 22, 2023
LILY Letter 137: Happy Thanksgiving! The Benefits of Gratitude

Following our divorces, we had a rough time and experienced many subsequent losses (financial, health, other relationships, etc.). On top of those accumulated losses, we each struggled with depression for many years. Oddly enough, losing everything we felt mattered taught us that gratitude is the most important key to happiness. We learned how to start […]

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October 5, 2023
LILY Letter 130: Reflections on Fall & Singles in the Church

As we officially move into autumn, the world is changing. The kids have gone back to school. Summer vacations and adventures are over. The air is starting to cool. Halloween and Thanksgiving are around the corner. Autumn is a time of reflection. We think of the past with a certain amount of nostalgia. When Jeff […]

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August 15, 2023
LILY Letter 123: Why Not Date a Widow?

This is a particularly sensitive topic for widowed women of our faith. This month's podcast guest reached out to us after listening to LILY Pod episode 34 "Thoughtful Labeling" with sincere concerns about her experience as a widow re-entering the dating world. This wise woman knows the importance of not labeling herself only as a "widow," […]

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August 8, 2023
LILY Letter 122: Stability for Singles After Loss

We write this week's edition of the LILY Letter with some caution and we advise our readers to strike a balance with what we suggest. We are big fans of intentionally healing from relationship loss before dating and developing new relationships. Many people start dating before finding a basic sense of stability as a single […]

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July 26, 2023
LILY Letter 120: Leaps of Faith & Victory in Christ

We were asked to give the keynote address for the Twin Falls Singles Conference last weekend (7/22/23). The theme for that conference was "Victory in Christ" so that has been on our mind for the past few months. It was wonderful to associate with and get to know the many single adults ages 30+ who […]

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February 20, 2023
WHEN THE LOSS OF YOUR FAIRYTALE “HURTS”

You may remember Kim Zmeskal as the world champion gymnast who was heavily favored to win the all-around gold medal at the Barcelona Olympics. She fell from the balance beam during her compulsory routine and her dreams of Olympic glory started to fade as her chance of making the all-around final became remote. Indeed, that […]

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