October 19, 2023
LILY Letter 132: What We Focus On Grows

We want start this week's LILY Letter with an observation we have made in ourselves and in our coaching clients. For most, it is easy to see when a child is throwing a fit and causing him or herself more pain. It can also be obvious to see when a friend or family member who, […]

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September 6, 2022
LILY Letter 74. Is the Law of Attraction Working FOR You?

The Law of Attraction is always at play in our lives—whether we're aware of it and intentional choose our focus, or not. We naturally attract and create more of what we focus on in our lives. Is the law of attraction working FOR you or AGAINST you? Honestly observe your thoughts and what you talk […]

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August 25, 2021
RELATIONSHIP GREEN FLAGS

When it comes to dating, Jeff and I have discussed the pitfalls of seeing and focusing on "red flags" in our book "Intentional Courtship" and on our "LILY Pod" podcast. Our friend Sheri Braithwaite from Dating Olympics posted this diagram in her Thriving Singles' Community. We LOVE this because it emphasizes a much more helpful focus in a […]

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August 17, 2021
ABOUT BEAUTY

When Cathy and I were writing Intentional Courtship, one of our beta readers cautioned me about how much to use the word "beautiful," because love and marriage are not only for the beautiful people. Point taken. Having said this, I think the person you marry ought to be beautiful to you. What I want for […]

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June 12, 2021
A SIGN OF GRACE

I took this picture during a lunar eclipse on February 21, 2008 from the balcony of my home in Washington. 2008 was the last year my former wife and I were together. As I look back on the night that moon appeared, I am reminded of a couple of things. Even when our circumstances are […]

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May 20, 2021
SPREAD IT TO THE EDGES

I remember a talk given in a singles ward about "spreading it to the edges." It referred to sandwiches, or toast such as this that I made for my son this morning, as a metaphor for spreading goodness to the edges of our lives, to make our life experience as delicious as possible. Since then, […]

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