February 29, 2024
LILY Letter 151: The Stewardship to Heal What's Hurting

Sometimes people get divorced hoping to escape the pain that is inside of them. You may be one of these people, or perhaps¬†were married to one. The problem with this thinking is that the pain lives inside of you, so you take it with you wherever you go. It isn't somehow transferred from another person […]

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November 15, 2022
LILY Letter 84: Giving Grace to Your Former Spouse

One of the ways that we can know when we have forgiven someone is when we sincerely wish them well in our hearts. When good things happen to them, our hearts are happy for their success. Even if it might be something we want for ourselves, we hold that space and possibility open for our […]

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August 9, 2022
LILY Letter 70: Getting Toxic Out of You and Your Life

President Ezra Taft Benson famously said, "The Lord works from the inside out. The world works from the outside in. The world would take people out of the slums. Christ would take the slums out of people, and then they would take themselves out of the slums." We want to emphasize that toxicity finds a […]

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August 2, 2022
LILY Letter 69: From Trauma to Truth

We started ministering to mid-singles because they were underserved. Mid-singles are unique. Their needs are fundamentally different from those of most married and settled people. One of the biggest ways mid-singles are different comes down to trauma. Mid-singles and and even former mid-singles who have remarried have almost all experienced major losses, disappointments, and pain […]

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July 5, 2022
LILY Letter 65: Letting Go to Love Again

There are plenty of relationships that begin with the premise of hating former companions, that hate becomes their new bond. Some continue in that pattern with a steady diet of negative comments about those same formers. How does that serve the couple? Is that the kind of relationship you want? Through our own experience, we […]

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March 16, 2022
WHAT IF YOUR FORMER SPOUSE IS TOXIC?

You want a peaceful co-parenting relationship right? In some cases, I hear divorcees say "I can't have a peaceful relationship with my former because [he or she] is an abusive narcissist." And it's quite true. There are some people who are so bitter and self-involved that they can't play nicely with others, no matter how […]

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March 3, 2022
COULD DIVORCE BE PART OF GOD'S PLAN?

In our religion, we value marriage highly--more than anything except perhaps God Himself. We believe marriage is central to His plan of happiness. Accordingly, when a marriage fails, we often think we have failed at life. We have often heard talks in church about how the divorce rate reflects the failings of a wicked world. […]

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December 27, 2021
WHAT HOPE DO YOU HAVE?

The suicide rate in America increased by 24 percent from 2000-2014. The rate is so high now that it has actually decreased the average life expectancy by 3 years. It is the 7th leading cause of death for men and 14th for women. About 50,000 people, an entire small city, die by suicide every year […]

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December 22, 2021
OF DISAPPOINTMENT AND PAIN

Have you ever stood over the crib and watched your young child sleeping and felt overwhelming love wash over you, only to be replaced by the gripping fear, "What if something happens to him/her?" And that thought steals your happiness and peace in a moment that might be one of unadulterated joy. Brene Brown used […]

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