One of the ways that we can know when we have forgiven someone is when we sincerely wish them well in our hearts. When good things happen to them, our hearts are happy for their success. Even if it might be something we want for ourselves, we hold that space and possibility open for our […]
In our religion, we value marriage highly--more than anything except perhaps God Himself. We believe marriage is central to His plan of happiness. Accordingly, when a marriage fails, we often think we have failed at life. We have often heard talks in church about how the divorce rate reflects the failings of a wicked world. […]
One of the most often repeated phrases people said to me as I was going through my divorce from my kids' mom was, "Some day she'll be sorry." Another one that I often got was, "The best revenge is living a happy life after your divorce." Is that really so? I have often heard people […]
Welcome to 2023! What are your plans? People often create New Year's resolutions this time of year, perhaps adopting a word to guide them in the coming year and striving to turn over a new leaf in some area of their life. It tends to be a fresh start, full of endless possibilities and desired […]
Have you ever stood over the crib and watched your young child sleeping and felt overwhelming love wash over you, only to be replaced by the gripping fear, "What if something happens to him/her?" And that thought steals your happiness and peace in a moment that might be one of unadulterated joy. Brene Brown used […]
In 1979, the Irish Republican Army ("IRA") placed explosives on a fishing boat owned by Louis the Earl of Mountbatten, and detonated them for the purpose of assassinating him. Mountbatten was killed in the violent explosion along with a number of his grandchildren. By way of background, Mountbatten was a towering figure in Great Britain. […]
As you may know by now, we are releasing our long-awaited book, "Intentional Courtship: a Mid-Singles Guide to Peace, Progress, and Pairing up in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints," on November 5th. Intentional Courtship contains a lot of counsel and information about coping with loss and recovery from pain and trauma through […]
As many of you know, Cathy and I both had brief second marriages following lengthy first marriages. In one case, the prior marriage was to someone who stonewalled (simply shut down and refused to talk about anything difficult or stressful). This is one of the Gottman's "Four Horsemen of the Marriage Apocalypse." After that kind […]
In Romans Chapter 1, Paul rails, ”against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men," including "covenant breakers" (Romans 1:18, 31). One of the most common complaints I have heard by Latter-day Saint mid-singles is, "My ex broke his (or her) covenants." During much of my mid-single life, I used expressions much like that to justify my […]
