December 27, 2022
LILY Letter 90: Moving into the New Year with Strength

One thing we learn in meditation is how to separate ourselves from our thoughts and emotions. That includes being able to see our feelings like weather and watch them drift by like dark storm clouds. This is a helpful technique for mastering our emotions instead of being mastered by them. It also helps us release […]

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August 23, 2022
LILY Letter 72: The Courage to Love Again

One of the most common refrains we hear from mid-singles is “I hate dating.” In the vast majority of situations, the individual doesn’t actually “hate dating.” He or she hates rejection. He or she hates being judged. Rejection in dating often feels deeply personal, and it requires a lot of emotional maturity to cope with […]

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July 5, 2022
LILY Letter 65: Letting Go to Love Again

There are plenty of relationships that begin with the premise of hating former companions, that hate becomes their new bond. Some continue in that pattern with a steady diet of negative comments about those same formers. How does that serve the couple? Is that the kind of relationship you want? Through our own experience, we […]

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February 22, 2022
LILY Letter 46: Powerful Women

What does it mean to be a powerful woman? Does it mean to have good fame and fortune? Does it mean to do everything for everyone with no thought of ourselves? Does it mean to do what it takes to look good in the eyes of others? Does it mean being attached to a powerful […]

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February 15, 2022
LILY Letter 45: Strong Men

The National Institute of Mental Health cited statistics showing the suicide rate among males was 3.7 times higher than among females. For centuries we have been socialized to believe that men are the stronger sex and exist to protect and provide for women. As Lea Winerman wrote: “Try to imagine the Marlboro man in therapy. […]

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January 20, 2022
THE THINGS "EVERYBODY KNOWS"

When I was a kid, my mom used to subscribe to "Woman's Day" and other women's magazines. She would leave these issues in the bathroom. Sometimes when I would go in to use the bathroom I would pick up one of these magazines and read an article. If you know anything about women's magazines, they […]

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December 23, 2021
AN UNUSUAL ANNIVERSARY

December 23, 2016, five years ago today, was one of those days when I said, like so many of you, "I hate dating!" It was the day Cathy broke up with me. I could tell it was coming for about a month. It had become increasingly obvious that her heart was not in our relationship […]

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November 23, 2021
THE HOLIDAY: A FILM REVIEW

The 2006 movie "The Holiday" is available on Netflix for one more week. I had the chance to watch it again with Cathy recently. It strikes me that this movie contains some themes that are particularly relevant to this group. The film involves four mid-single adults trying to find their way. Amanda Woods (Cameron Diaz) […]

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November 15, 2021
FOR MID-SINGLES: THE MOTE AND THE BEAM

Published in Meridian Magazine "For Mid-Singles: The Mote and the Beam" By Jeff Teichert · November 15, 2021  Jesus asked: “[W]hy beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote […]

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