When our perception of reality gets distorted by trauma, we are at risk for developing maladaptive behaviors to cope with these cognitive distortions. We may lash out at someone who bumps up against an "emotional sunburn" or choose to avoid people altogether to self-protect. It is easy to see cognitive distortions in others but it […]
At a recent family reunion, Jeff's father asked each of his children and their spouses to share their testimonies. After we and his siblings had shared, Jeff's oldest son offered to share his testimony. He is the oldest grandchild and looked up to by all the younger grandkids. The pre-teens followed him around all weekend, […]
One of the most important things divorcees understand that many other people don't to the same degree is that agency has a dark side. It is wonderful when we make choices in relationships that lead to happiness and success. It is miserable when others make decisions that hurt us and we have no say in […]
We discuss this sentiment at some length in "Intentional Courtship," which we will be releasing on November 5th. I have seen various comments of this kind on social media probably hundreds of times since I became a mid-single about 13 years ago. The comment usually comes from men. Before I answer the question, I want […]
Jesus said: "[W]hy beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye. Thou hypocrite, first cast […]
My mother talks about the devil more than anyone I know. Maybe that's a generational thing. I'm not sure. She has told me during the hardships of two divorces and hitting roadblocks in my career, "The devil is camping on your trail!" I think it's always a good idea to be aware that there is […]
What causes you the most pain? When I was 26 years old, I lost my little brother to cancer. The loss I felt was deeply painful. He was only 17. There was some feeling that "it wasn't meant to be this way" because he was so young. But, mainly, it was honestly just feeling the […]
