January 26, 2024
LILY Letter 146: Getting Clear About Relationship Status

January 23rd was the sixth anniversary of our third first kiss. Less than four months later, we were sealed for time and all eternity in the Provo City Center Temple on 5/11/2018. You might be asking how a kiss could be a “first kiss” if it was “third.” If you’ve read our book, Intentional Courtship, you […]

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January 11, 2024
LILY Letter 144: How to Talk to Dating Partners About Your Past

Since the audience for this letter is primarily Latter-day Saint single adults, it is almost inevitable that some of you did things you are not proud of that contributed to a divorce. Such misdeeds could include an affair (either sexual or emotional or both), serious dishonesty with a former spouse, substance abuse issues, or the […]

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November 16, 2023
LILY Letter 136: Would You Rather Be Right or Happy?

Did you know that each of us has a primitive brain that would rather be right than happy? Enjoy this week's new video on "The Primitive Brain" -- a short but fascinating discussion about how to work with your primitive monkey brain. In this week's podcast, "Would You Rather Be Right or Happy?" we dive […]

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October 31, 2023
LILY Letter 134: Overcoming the FEAR of Intimacy

This week we have a special holiday treat for you! Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife joins us for a very special Halloween themed interview on "Overcoming the FEAR of Intimacy." She is a relationship and sexuality coach with a Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology who teaches LDS couples and individuals how to strengthen their relationships, overcome relational and […]

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July 26, 2023
LILY Letter 120: Leaps of Faith & Victory in Christ

We were asked to give the keynote address for the Twin Falls Singles Conference last weekend (7/22/23). The theme for that conference was "Victory in Christ" so that has been on our mind for the past few months. It was wonderful to associate with and get to know the many single adults ages 30+ who […]

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June 13, 2023
LILY Letter 114: The Blessing of Blended Families

It takes a lot of courage to blend a family. Each blended family is unique and has varying challenges but every blended family requires a lot of adjusting for everyone involved. Often divorced parents feel guilty about what the divorce has done to their children, and they feel their guilt magnified by putting their children […]

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March 28, 2023
LILY Letter 103: How to Be More Than Friends

There are many important benefits to being bold and confident enough to be straightforward and say "I like you." In order to BE more than friends means doing something to allow for that option.  The reason it is bold to confess your feelings is the risk that your friend may not feel the same way. […]

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November 29, 2022
LILY Letter 86: Choosing Power and Joy

​​With very personal and poignant experience, I (Jeff) have learned that it is far better to approach adversity with strength rather than weakness. When my brother died in 1993, I gained weight, my academic performance dropped, and I looked depressed — because I was. When I got divorced in 2010, I was so distraught I […]

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November 8, 2022
LILY Letter 83: Giving Your Heart a Chance

In July 2015, the Arbinger Institute published, "The Anatomy of Peace: Resolving the Heart of Conflict. The fundamental premise of the book is that our hearts are either at war with each other or at peace, and that peace in our hearts creates peace in the home, the community, and the world. A heart at […]

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