In this week's video, we discuss the use of the "D" word in marriage--the "D" word being "divorce." It is NOT good to include this word in marital vocabulary if what you really want is an atmosphere of safety, security and loving connection. It is important to make very clear commitments with yourself about not […]
Now is a confusing time to be a man. In this day and age, a father that tries to be the head of the house is looked upon as a misogynist dinosaur. On the other hand, a father who does not try to be the head of the house is looked upon as weak and […]
We recently attended the sealing of a remarried LILY couple with a blended family of 9 children. It hasn't been an easy road for them, but they say it IS worth it. Building a new marriage relationship later in life comes with complications. Co-parenting with former spouses, dealing with the trauma and reactions of your […]
One of the hardest things about being a single faithful Latter-day Saint is the expectation of celibacy. This indefinite break from sexual activity for those who have been married previously can be a rough transition. Sometimes we might wonder if this is even smart. If I want a good intimate partnership, how do I find […]
There are plenty of relationships that begin with the premise of hating former companions, that hate becomes their new bond. Some continue in that pattern with a steady diet of negative comments about those same formers. How does that serve the couple? Is that the kind of relationship you want? Through our own experience, we […]
This month we interviewed Julie Lee, author of "I See You: How Connection and Compassion Save Lives." In the movie Avatar, the main character, Jake Sully, learns the phrase "I see you" from Neytiri, his love interest among the Na'vi people on the planet Pandora. To the Na'vi, "I see you" means more than noticing. […]
For me, the loneliness began before the formal separation as I watched my former wife disconnect and disengage. We lived in the same house, on different floors, for about 18 months. It created a toxic atmosphere that I found depleting both emotionally and physically. After I moved out of our home, it occurred to me […]
Our message this week is to "live boldly" by being your authentic self in wise vulnerable ways with those you believe will accept you as you are, and to "love boldly" by encouraging others to be honest about who they are and to love them unconditionally. To practice "real love" is to be a "wise […]
Over the weekend, Jeff and I had the opportunity to attend a portion of the "BYU Life After Divorce Conference" (which we were invited to observe as potential presenters for next year). The ending keynote was given by Brad Wilcox, who talked about public versus private trials (among other things). He reminded us that Jesus […]
