May 17, 2022
LILY Letter 58: Faith Crisis and the Dark Side of Agency

One of the most important things divorcees understand that many other people don't to the same degree is that agency has a dark side. It is wonderful when we make choices in relationships that lead to happiness and success. It is miserable when others make decisions that hurt us and we have no say in […]

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April 19, 2022
LILY Letter 54: Is Divorce Part of Your Path?

In our religion, we value marriage highly—more than anything except the atonement of Jesus Christ. We believe marriage is central to God’s plan of happiness. Accordingly, when a marriage fails, we often think we have failed at life. If we are divorced, we may think something has gone horribly wrong, that God’s plan for us […]

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March 3, 2022
COULD DIVORCE BE PART OF GOD'S PLAN?

In our religion, we value marriage highly--more than anything except perhaps God Himself. We believe marriage is central to His plan of happiness. Accordingly, when a marriage fails, we often think we have failed at life. We have often heard talks in church about how the divorce rate reflects the failings of a wicked world. […]

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March 1, 2022
PUBLIC VS. PRIVATE TRIALS

Over the weekend, Jeff and I had the opportunity to attend a portion of the "BYU Life After Divorce Conference" (which we were invited to observe as potential presenters for next year). The ending keynote was given by Brad Wilcox, who talked about public versus private trials (among other things). He reminded us that Jesus […]

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November 2, 2021
WHY THE TEMPLE?

I address this question to Latter-day Saint men in Chapter 6 of Intentional Courtship. The reasons are actually quite profound. Many Latter-day Saint mid-singles have lost temple marriages. Many are cynical and jaded and believe that temple marriage is for the optimistic young couple with their whole lives ahead of them. I have heard many […]

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