I am different because my former spouse "went off the deep end," "had an affair," or "laid around in his underwear all day looking at porn instead of working." "I picked a better person this time, so things will be fine." How many times have we heard this kind of thinking in the mid-single community? […]

Many of us went through marriages where there was a lot of conflict--whether outwardly expressed or subtle hostility lurking below the surface. Conflict can be very traumatic, and that part of our histories makes many reluctant to date or move toward new relationships. So, why does it happen? How does a relationship that starts out […]

When I first met my step-kids' dad, I asked him his parenting philosophy and he said, "expectations." I think many if not most parents would say the same. That was also the answer my dad gave to the same question. (By the way, I consider both of these men pretty good fathers in many ways.) […]

You cannot find love without risk. This is a fundamental law of nature. Ultimately, the games we play in dating are all attempts to violate this law. You might ask your friend to talk to the person and see if they can tease out a revelation about that person’s feelings for you, without telling the […]

My mother talks about the devil more than anyone I know. Maybe that's a generational thing. I'm not sure. She has told me during the hardships of two divorces and hitting roadblocks in my career, "The devil is camping on your trail!" I think it's always a good idea to be aware that there is […]

I used to think the objective was to marry someone "normal" and not "irrational." Well, aside from the fact that "normal" is very much in the eye of the beholder, I also do not think it exists. Anyone you marry will, at some time, convince you that he or she is completely nuts. This has […]