January 26, 2024
LILY Letter 146: Getting Clear About Relationship Status

January 23rd was the sixth anniversary of our third first kiss. Less than four months later, we were sealed for time and all eternity in the Provo City Center Temple on 5/11/2018. You might be asking how a kiss could be a “first kiss” if it was “third.” If you’ve read our book, Intentional Courtship, you […]

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January 18, 2024
LILY Letter 145: Your Best Chance to Beat the Odds

"I am divorced because my former spouse 'went off the deep end,' 'had an affair,' or 'laid around in his underwear all day looking at porn instead of working.'" Or how about "I picked a better person this time, so things will be fine." How many times have we heard this kind of thinking in the mid-single […]

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January 11, 2024
LILY Letter 144: How to Talk to Dating Partners About Your Past

Since the audience for this letter is primarily Latter-day Saint single adults, it is almost inevitable that some of you did things you are not proud of that contributed to a divorce. Such misdeeds could include an affair (either sexual or emotional or both), serious dishonesty with a former spouse, substance abuse issues, or the […]

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December 28, 2023
LILY Letter 142: Working with Reality & Making Compromises

Years ago, Jeff was working with a builder to construct a home. As they went through estimates of costs, the time it was going to take to complete, and what the finished product might look like, the builder told Jeff that, in construction, there are three priorities to consider: good, fast, cheap. He said, "Most […]

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November 30, 2023
LILY Letter 138: About Time

In teaching time management, Stephen Covey and Hyrum Smith taught four divisions for how we might categorize uses of our time: 1. Urgent and important 2. Important but not urgent 3. Urgent but not important, and 4. Not urgent and not important Essentially, where most people get confused and waste their time is between Quadrants […]

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October 26, 2023
LILY Letter 133: The Recipe for Remarriage

Remarriage is typically preceded by a process of relationship loss recovery, reentering the dating world, choosing to commit to a new person and ultimately create a new family and a new life. So what's the recipe? If you have consumed much of the material we produce at LILY, you know we aren't huge fans of […]

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September 27, 2023
LILY Letter 129: When "D" is Good For You (& When It's Not)

In this week's video, we discuss the use of the "D" word in marriage--the "D" word being "divorce." It is NOT good to include this word in marital vocabulary if what you really want is an atmosphere of safety, security and loving connection. It is important to make very clear commitments with yourself about not […]

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September 19, 2023
LILY Letter 128: Letting Go to Make Room

Before President Reagan left office in 1988, he gave an interview to Tom Brokaw where he talked about some of the disappointments he faced in his life. At one point, he was engaged to a lovely young woman, but life took them in different directions and she married someone else. As you might know, his […]

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September 12, 2023
LILY Letter 127: Running Toward Your Goals

How often have you heard variations of the following statements? "No woman will give me a chance." "There are no real men who will step up in relationships." "There are way more suitable single women then men, so there aren't enough good men to go around." "Women only want a man with good looks and […]

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