February 29, 2024
LILY Letter 151: The Stewardship to Heal What's Hurting

Sometimes people get divorced hoping to escape the pain that is inside of them. You may be one of these people, or perhaps¬†were married to one. The problem with this thinking is that the pain lives inside of you, so you take it with you wherever you go. It isn't somehow transferred from another person […]

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January 4, 2024
LILY Letter 143: A Word for the New Year?

Every January, social media is full of posts where people announce their choice for a word as their theme for the year. For the past 7-8 years (since before we married), we've been choosing a word for ourselves. In 2023, Jeff chose "Strength" and Cathy chose "Comfort." We'd like to share a bit about our […]

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December 14, 2023
LILY Letter 140: Up-Level Your Life & Relationships

Our mission as single life & relationship coaches is to help single adults who want to intentionally heal from loss and actively create happy lives with healthy relationships. "Many have told me of doing everything humanly possible to change a negative attitude or rescue a spoiled relationship, only to fail again and again and finally […]

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November 22, 2023
LILY Letter 137: Happy Thanksgiving! The Benefits of Gratitude

Following our divorces, we had a rough time and experienced many subsequent losses (financial, health, other relationships, etc.). On top of those accumulated losses, we each struggled with depression for many years. Oddly enough, losing everything we felt mattered taught us that gratitude is the most important key to happiness. We learned how to start […]

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November 16, 2023
LILY Letter 136: Would You Rather Be Right or Happy?

Did you know that each of us has a primitive brain that would rather be right than happy? Enjoy this week's new video on "The Primitive Brain" -- a short but fascinating discussion about how to work with your primitive monkey brain. In this week's podcast, "Would You Rather Be Right or Happy?" we dive […]

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November 9, 2023
LILY Letter 135: Thanking God in Advance

As we enter the month of Thanksgiving and giving thanks, we felt inspired to share something we have learned that strengthens faith and increases our capacity for gratitude at the same time. We invite you to practice the art of "Thanking God in Advance." If you've never heard of such a thing or tried it […]

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October 31, 2023
LILY Letter 134: Overcoming the FEAR of Intimacy

This week we have a special holiday treat for you! Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife joins us for a very special Halloween themed interview on "Overcoming the FEAR of Intimacy." She is a relationship and sexuality coach with a Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology who teaches LDS couples and individuals how to strengthen their relationships, overcome relational and […]

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October 19, 2023
LILY Letter 132: What We Focus On Grows

We want start this week's LILY Letter with an observation we have made in ourselves and in our coaching clients. For most, it is easy to see when a child is throwing a fit and causing him or herself more pain. It can also be obvious to see when a friend or family member who, […]

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September 27, 2023
LILY Letter 129: When "D" is Good For You (& When It's Not)

In this week's video, we discuss the use of the "D" word in marriage--the "D" word being "divorce." It is NOT good to include this word in marital vocabulary if what you really want is an atmosphere of safety, security and loving connection. It is important to make very clear commitments with yourself about not […]

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