February 8, 2024
LILY Letter 148: Was My Failed Marriage a Waste of Time?

I met my eternal companion when I was 48 years old and married her when I was 50--as in five decades! Or a half century! How do you suppose I feel about that? At age 56, I am healthier, wealthier, wiser, and more spiritual than I was 30 years ago at age 26 when I married […]

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January 11, 2024
LILY Letter 144: How to Talk to Dating Partners About Your Past

Since the audience for this letter is primarily Latter-day Saint single adults, it is almost inevitable that some of you did things you are not proud of that contributed to a divorce. Such misdeeds could include an affair (either sexual or emotional or both), serious dishonesty with a former spouse, substance abuse issues, or the […]

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September 27, 2023
LILY Letter 129: When "D" is Good For You (& When It's Not)

In this week's video, we discuss the use of the "D" word in marriage--the "D" word being "divorce." It is NOT good to include this word in marital vocabulary if what you really want is an atmosphere of safety, security and loving connection. It is important to make very clear commitments with yourself about not […]

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September 19, 2023
LILY Letter 128: Letting Go to Make Room

Before President Reagan left office in 1988, he gave an interview to Tom Brokaw where he talked about some of the disappointments he faced in his life. At one point, he was engaged to a lovely young woman, but life took them in different directions and she married someone else. As you might know, his […]

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September 12, 2023
LILY Letter 127: Running Toward Your Goals

How often have you heard variations of the following statements? "No woman will give me a chance." "There are no real men who will step up in relationships." "There are way more suitable single women then men, so there aren't enough good men to go around." "Women only want a man with good looks and […]

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July 11, 2023
LILY Letter 118: Thriving After Divorce

There are so many wonderful things we can do to heal from trauma and thrive after divorce. We believe all sustainable healing that establishes peace in our lives is obtained intentionally and purposefully.  Trauma is essentially the fear stored in your mind and body from previous moments of danger. When our bodies experience something that […]

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July 4, 2023
LILY Letter 117: Celebrating Emotional Independence - Happy 4th of July!

As we celebrate independence here in America, we invite you to consider emotional independence and how to go about declaring that independence against whatever is depriving you of it. The inability to make a decision on your own can be its own form of tyranny. Fear that you lack the ability to support yourself financially […]

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June 20, 2023
LILY Letter 115: Honoring Single Fathers

Now is a confusing time to be a man. In this day and age, a father that tries to be the head of the house is looked upon as a misogynist dinosaur. On the other hand, a father who does not try to be the head of the house is looked upon as weak and […]

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June 6, 2023
LILY Letter 113: Is Remarriage Worth It?

We recently attended the sealing of a remarried LILY couple with a blended family of 9 children. It hasn't been an easy road for them, but they say it IS worth it. Building a new marriage relationship later in life comes with complications. Co-parenting with former spouses, dealing with the trauma and reactions of your […]

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