August 1, 2023
LILY Letter 121: To Make Much of Time

17th century English poet Robert Herrick penned these immortal words about a very mortal subject:  Gather ye rose-buds while ye may, Old Time is still a-flying; And this same flower that smiles today Tomorrow will be dying. The glorious lamp of heaven, the sun, The higher he’s a-getting, The sooner will his race be run, […]

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June 27, 2023
LILY Letter 116: Developing a Positive Outlook on Dating & Relationships

We've heard so many single adults say "I hate dating." Why is that? Perhaps there are as many answers as there are people. But I think they all come down to something deep in our nature that dislikes being judged. And dating gives you more opportunities to be judged than almost anything else. When we […]

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March 28, 2023
LILY Letter 103: How to Be More Than Friends

There are many important benefits to being bold and confident enough to be straightforward and say "I like you." In order to BE more than friends means doing something to allow for that option.  The reason it is bold to confess your feelings is the risk that your friend may not feel the same way. […]

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March 21, 2023
LILY Letter 102: Long Distance Relationships

Some ask why they should consider a long distance relationship, when they are typically more difficult and more complicated than a relationship with someone who lives in the same town. There are several reasons: 1. You may be in a remote location church-wise. If you really believe in the blessings of eternal marriage and take […]

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March 14, 2023
LILY Letter 101: Happy St. Patrick's!

Seven years ago this St. Patrick's Day, Cathy posted a selfie wearing a green shirt emblazoned with a shamrock and the words, "Looking for my Lucky Charm." That day, her eternal companion entered her life. Jeff saw her post and sent her a friend request. We became Facebook friends on St. Patrick's in 2016 so St. […]

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February 20, 2023
WHEN THE LOSS OF YOUR FAIRYTALE “HURTS”

You may remember Kim Zmeskal as the world champion gymnast who was heavily favored to win the all-around gold medal at the Barcelona Olympics. She fell from the balance beam during her compulsory routine and her dreams of Olympic glory started to fade as her chance of making the all-around final became remote. Indeed, that […]

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February 14, 2023
LILY Letter 97: Happy Valentine's!

In the movie "Mr. Wrong," the main character, played by Ellen DeGeneres calls Valentine's Day "the lamest day on a single girl's calendar." For many, it is a solemn reminder of what they don't have. It is sometimes an excuse for well-meaning parents to pressure their single adult children to hurry up and get married. […]

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January 23, 2023
A THIRD FIRST KISS?

1-23-23 was the fifth anniversary of my third first kiss with the woman who, four months later, became my wife. You might be asking how a kiss could be a “first kiss” if it was “third.” If you’ve read my book, Intentional Courtship, you know that my relationship with Cathy had its ups and downs over […]

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January 16, 2023
EXPECTATIONS AND RELATIONSHIPS

I recently met a single dad who, when asked his parenting philosophy said, “expectations.” I think many, if not most parents would say the same. We have expectations of all kinds in life. I work at my job, and I expect to be paid and paid on time. I sacrifice food I might like to […]

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