If you’ve been through the heartbreak of divorce or other relationship loss, you already know how easy it is to slip into the habit of telling the same story over and over—who hurt you, who failed you, who didn’t see your worth. It feels safe to rehearse those details because it proves you were right. But here’s the hidden cost: blame is a kind of emotional armor that slowly repels love and connection. When you focus on fault, you attract more resentment and stay tethered to a past you can’t change. The law of attraction doesn’t filter for justice—it simply multiplies what you feed it. Focusing on blame gets you more of what you don't want in your relationship!
In our experience coaching singles and couples blending families, we’ve seen how blame quietly turns us into what psychologists call “aversive stimuli”—people others instinctively avoid. When your new partner feels judged or held hostage by your old pain, they can’t fully relax or trust you. Blame doesn’t inspire closeness; it triggers defensiveness. Like standing in a burning kitchen arguing over who lit the fire, blame keeps you stuck in crisis instead of reaching for solutions. If you want love to grow, trade judgment for curiosity and replace accusation with understanding.
This week, we challenge you to experiment with something radical: let go of the need to be right. Assume good intent, even when it feels risky. When old blame stories surface, ask yourself, Is this story building the future I want, or just proving I was wronged at the expense of my relationship? If you must err, err on the side of mercy. The gospel of Jesus Christ teaches that grace is what heals hearts and rebuilds trust. We promise that as you release the weight of blame, you’ll create space for the kind of love that feels safe, connected, and real—and allow the law of attraction to work in your favor.
Wishing you all the best this holiday season, as we celebrate the birth of our Savior and approach a new year. If in 2026 you would like to effectively use the Law of Attraction in your favor, we are here to coach you through it. Our holiday gift to you is a Free Mini-Coaching Session, which you can schedule for January. Click HERE to schedule yours!
Is the Law of Attraction Working Against Your Relationship?
What if your focus is secretly repelling the love you want? Watch as we reveal how focusing on problems can turn the Law of Attraction against you. Learn how to shift your focus to real connection and finally start attracting the love and closeness you’ve been longing for.
Jeff's Related Article in his Meridian Magazine Singles Column:
https://latterdaysaintmag.com/the-deadly-poison-of-blame/
To heal from relationship loss and create more love in your life, read Intentional Courtship (available on Amazon).
Dive deep into healing from divorce with our self-paced online course: Life Design After Divorce (now available on demand!).
If you enjoy this letter, forward to a friend. Our goal is to support as many single adults and later-married couples as possible so please share this letter with those you love!
