As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and coaches who have associated with divorce survivors for many years, we’ve observed patterns that can lead to the downfall of marriages. Based on these insights, here are some surefire ways to ruin your next marriage. Divorce survivors considering remarriage should reflect on these points to avoid repeating common mistakes.
- Interrupt Important Conversations: continuously cut your spouse off when they express something significant.
- Engage in Disrespectful Arguments: Use sarcasm and insults during disagreements, and raise your voice to overpower them.
- Be Selfish: Never do anything you don’t feel like doing, whether it’s talking, having sex, or doing chores.
- Mismanage Finances: Use a joint checking account recklessly and rely on credit cards when money runs out.
- Public Humiliation: Make insulting wisecracks about your spouse in public or constantly correct them to the point of embarrassment.
- Expect Mind Reading: Don’t talk about what you want; insist that your spouse to figure it out.
- Offer Criticism Instead of Comfort: When your spouse needs comfort, give advice and shift the conversation to yourself.
- Keep a Scorecard: Constantly reiterate how unappreciated you feel for everything you do.
- Be Passive-Aggressive: Withhold affection and be icy when expectations are not met.
- Hold Grudges: Stay distant and demand apologies even after resolving an argument.
- Disparage Your Spouse to Friends: Complain about your spouse to friends rather than talking to them directly.
- Nit-Pick Everything: Criticize how your spouse does chores or shops.
- Focus on Shortcomings: Remind your spouse of their failures to meet your expectations.
- Withhold Love: Only say “I love you” when you feel butterflies. If not, claim you married the wrong person.
- Second-Guess Spending: Complain about every penny spent and hide your own purchases.
- Criticize Appearance: Make jokes about your spouse’s looks and dwell on their physical flaws.
- Avoid Dates: Say you don’t have time or money for dates—or that you just don’t feel like it.
- Blame Your Spouse: Blame your spouse for your unhappiness.
- Compare Financially: Compare your financial situation to others and blame your spouse for not doing better.
- Be Easily Irritated: Obsess over your spouse’s annoying habits until you can’t stand them.
Even a few of these behaviors can doom your marriage, whether you end up divorced or not. If you prefer to create a lasting marriage, stay tuned for next week’s article with the secrets to create a thriving relationship and eternal union!
FEATURED VIDEO:
How to Guarantee Another Divorce
Here's a little comic relief for you! Enjoy this satirical monologue about all the ways to sabotage your marriage (we've all been there and done that - we might as well laugh about it!). Be prepared to laugh your head off!
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Life Design After Divorce
On a more serious note, if you really want to avoid the pitfalls of another failed marriage, let us guide you through the steps to find peace in your life and be able to attract your future partner from a healthy place. Click on "Life Design After Divorce" to learn more.
To heal from relationship loss and create more love in your life in 2025, read Intentional Courtship (available on Amazon).
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