LILY Letter 149: Love and Agency

February 14, 2024

As Valentine's Day has come once again, did you feel like you had a meaningful opportunity to celebrate a great relationship? Or did you think about one more year of singleness with a twinge of bitter longing? Did you perhaps, even let the holiday pass almost without notice and just try to avoid the whole thing?

If you are in a relationship (or have been in one recently), do you sometimes feel like you aren't enough because your partner wishes you were different from how you are in some important way? If you are currently single, have you sometimes wondered why the person you wish you could be dating isn't giving you a chance? Do you sometimes feel misunderstood, thinking that if this person really knew you, they would see that you are good for them? Have you sometimes felt a little resentment inside that your romantic feelings have not been returned? Do you assume that it is your appearance people are judging, your material wealth or success, or other things that you feel personally insecure about?

At the end of the day we need to remember that: (1) No one owes us anything; (2) being the reliable "best friend" may demonstrate that you are good relationship material, but it does not entitle you to a chance at a relationship; and (3) The most important ingredients of a relationship are that you both want one with each other. In the end, love not freely chosen is not real. Would you really want someone to enter a relationship with you because they felt obligated to? The ultimate prize in any love relationship is the agency of love itself.

It is the best feeling in the world to know that someone has actively and intentionally chosen you. It is a highly cherished gift, one that we all deep down desire and hope for. We believe there is a man for every woman and a woman for every man. As you consistently seek what your heart desires, you will ultimately find someone you can love and cherish who will choose to love and cherish you back. Wishing all our readers the gift of more love in your life in 2024. Enjoy all the resources below to help you manifest that.

Happy Valentine's Week!

~Jeff & Cathy Teichert


Jeff & Cathy discuss the ONLY 3 options in relationships ("Love it, Hate it, or Leave it") and why it is important to know what they are and what they CANNOT be ("Change Your Partner") in order to avoid the pitfalls that keep us stuck and miserable.

Listen to The Only 3 Options in Relationships


Jeff & Cathy tackle one of the most commonly pondered questions in the world - what is love? Enjoy this Valentine's special, focused on the heart of LOVE In Later Years.

Watch What is Love Anyway?


To heal from relationship loss and create more love in your life in 2024, read Intentional Courtship (available on Amazon).

LILY Coaching is available to support you personally. Simply visit to schedule a FREE Consult with Jeff or Cathy. We will provide you with a roadmap to your desired destination!

If you enjoy this letter, forward to a friend. Our goal is to support as many single adults and later-married couples as possible so please share this letter with those you love!

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