LILY Letter 136: Would You Rather Be Right or Happy?

November 16, 2023

Did you know that each of us has a primitive brain that would rather be right than happy? Enjoy this week's new video on "The Primitive Brain" -- a short but fascinating discussion about how to work with your primitive monkey brain. In this week's podcast, "Would You Rather Be Right or Happy?" we dive deep into why that monkey brain gets so much power. Often to our detriment, we are wired to believe that being right is more important than being happy. Understanding this and intentionally choosing which is truly more important is vital if we want the opportunity to create our life and relationships on purpose.

Can we love someone and judge him or her at the same time? Most of us, at one time or another, are guilty of behaving in a way that says: "I love you, now change." Why do we do that? Because of FEAR. What are we afraid of? Being without food and shelter, threats to our physical or emotional safety, being abandoned by our tribe, lacking love, being insignificant, a life devoid of meaning, etc.

What do our primitive brains do to warn us of danger? They give us pain and make us uncomfortable. When the brain has to choose, it naturally chooses to protect our more basic needs, even if it means sacrificing our higher needs. For example, if you have been abused in a relationship, your mind and body may instinctively prefer the pain of being alone and lacking love to the risk of physical harm you associate with relationships. This isn't rational. It is instinctive. It comes from the built-in survival mechanism in your primitive brain.

So how do we manage the that primitive brain that leads us to put up emotional walls to keep us safe only to isolate us and keep us from taking the necessary risks required to live with the most joy and love? We encourage you to rebel against automatically believing your brain! To learn how, listen to this week's podcast and watch this week's video (they are different, and go hand in hand).

May we all get a little better about intentionally choosing what is most important to us. We can develop the courage and skill to take charge of our primitive brain (rather than the other way around) so we can live our lives with joy and create the goodness we want to experience.


LILY Pod: Would You Rather Be Right or Happy?

LILY Tube: The Primitive Brain

To heal from relationship loss and create more love in your life, read Intentional Courtship (available on Amazon).

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