LILY Letter 118: Thriving After Divorce

July 11, 2023

There are so many wonderful things we can do to heal from trauma and thrive after divorce. We believe all sustainable healing that establishes peace in our lives is obtained intentionally and purposefully. 

Trauma is essentially the fear stored in your mind and body from previous moments of danger. When our bodies experience something that reminds them of those moments, our trauma is triggered and re-experienced. Our brains are two million years old and wired more for survival than for joy. So they keep us constantly vigilant watching for danger -- which is stressful and unpleasant. Because of trauma, we are afraid of a lot of things that are not truly dangerous. The fear response is over generalized out of an abundance of caution to keep us safe. But it also keeps us miserable.

We explain how trauma works because, if you can name it you can tame it. If you recognize those fearful and uncomfortable feelings rising up in you, you can talk back to them. You can evaluate whether you are truly unsafe and, if you are not, you can choose to release those feelings -- which enables you to move forward bravely. 

There are other strategies and methods of actually releasing trauma from your body to help you move forward with less difficulty finding happiness. EMDR (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) therapy is one example of a therapeutic modality that can give you your life back. ART (accelerated resolution therapy) is another modality, similar to EMDR, that treats trauma in broader categories and allows it to be released more quickly. It is primarily focused on replacing disturbing images with pleasant ones. For many people, a substantial amount of trauma can be released more quickly and efficiently with EMDR. 

Whatever you choose to do, there is a beautiful life of love, adventure, and joy waiting for you. Sometimes we resist therapeutic interventions because we believe the expense will only increase our level of anxiety. Often we tell ourselves that we will get help for our emotional problems when we have created better circumstances in our lives. In reality, real change is from the inside out. Invest what you need to in treatment for trauma and you will see the benefits manifest in your circumstances. You are worth it and you deserve it.

If you are divorced and ready for positive change in your life, our self-paced course "Life Design After Divorce" will help you thrive after divorce. We will help you recover more fully and design a life you love. Access the entire course HERE: lifedesignafterdivorce 


LILY Pod: Healing from Trauma with Holly Voisin (Trauma Therapist)

LILY Tube: The Divine Masculine & Feminine (Complimentary Polarities)

LILY Short: Healing Happens Intentionally

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