LILY Letter 93: The Power of Thought Work

January 17, 2023

Our NEW featured LILY Tube video is about our F-SEEBO coaching model, which helps us elevate our energy and emotions to naturally shift our own behaviors and ultimately produce better outcomes in our lives — all by intentionally choosing thoughts that serve us best and are in alignment with our values and core desires.

While F-SEEBO is a powerful tool that we actively use in our coaching practice and in our own lives, we understand that it is not the only thing you need. For example, a person could decide to spend all day within four walls, never talking to another human being, working on thinking positively and interpreting situations in a hopeful way, but that wouldn’t all by itself lead to the desired outcome.

Properly understood, thought work is part of an overall flow and does not replace fundamental human needs, like the need for love and belonging. The way you think may be helpful in meeting those needs and finding the resources you need, but living in denial or trying to wish away the fundamental facts of life will never get you where you want to go. For example, if you decide to think positively about the fact that you don't have anything to eat or drink, you are still going to starve to death if you don't find food. Trying to interpret this situation by thinking "I don't actually need food or water to live" will not change the fact that you need food and water to live. Likewise, if you are starving for love, you aren't going to automatically have those needs met just because you choose to think positively.

Denying that you have a need for love and belonging does not change the fact that you do. Denying facts is not the F-SEEBO framework. Accepting unchangeable facts is part of the model. If we accept reality as it really is (the facts without added interpretation), we might still choose to believe that food and water are on their way and will show up for us - believing that can give us the hope we need to persist in finding them. The law of attraction will help to drive this process because when we put our focus on what we need and want instead of denying our needs or despairing that we don't have our needs met (YET!).

So thought work is powerful and important so long as we do not deny the reality that we are human beings with fundamental needs which are unchangeable, and which it is our own primary responsibility to fulfill. If you are operating on a deficit of love and belonging, your thought work could lead you to deeper understanding and help you to reach out to wise friends who will love you even when you are needy or sad or have other problems and challenges. The love of even one other person can be transforming. Thought work is not a replacement for human needs. It is a powerful tool to intentionally create a happy life and ultimately develop healthy relationships.

In our featured video this week, we share Our Secret Formula for Creating a Better Life and our podcast is Behaviors & Outcomes - How to Shift Them, the last of 3 episodes (101-103) that deep dive into our F-SEEBO coaching model (links to ALL below). This week’s short is Our F-SEEBO Coaching Model (a quick 1-minute summary of the model).

We intentionally started the year with this material to support the “power of thought work” in your life for 2023. Please take advantage of these resources that are our FREE gift to you. Practice the principles we share in these podcasts and videos on thought work. If you’d like personal support in implementing the model and gaining even more power from this work, reach out for a FREE coaching discovery call with Jeff or Cathy at


LILY Pod Episode 101: Facts vs. Stories - Separating Them Out (40min)

LILY Pod Episode 102: Emotion & Energetic State - What Creates It? (45min)

LILY Pod Episode 103: Behaviors & Outcomes - How to Shift Them (33min)

LILY Tube: Our Secret Formula for Creating a Better Life (19min)

LILY Tube Short: Our F-SEEBO Coaching Model (1min)

Discover what LILY Coaching can do for you. Simply email us at to set up a FREE consultation with Jeff or Cathy. We have private and group coaching options available. We look forward to working with you personally!

Get a copy of "Intentional Courtship" on Amazon to heal from relationship loss and create more real love in your life HERE: Intentional Courtship

If you enjoy this letter, forward to a friend. Our goal is to support as many mid-singles and later-married couples as possible!

Love in Later Years © 2021
Privacy Policy