LILY Letter 92: Essential Healing for Successful Dating

January 10, 2023

Many people say time heals all wounds. We say bunk! Passively waiting for a period of time without any concentration on growth isn't going to heal you at all. Jeff has a friend who was divorced two years prior to Jeff's divorce. He has been single for approximately 12 years and is still telling his divorce victim story to anyone and everyone who will listen and he remains very stuck. The mere passage of time has not healed his wounds. Much like setting a bone after it is broken will determine how it grows back together, the way we begin the healing process from divorce or death can make all the difference in the outcome. Setting the bone properly, metaphorically speaking, ultimately depends on us.

If you have been stuck for a long time, you can still reset the bone so that your leg heals properly. It may require rebreaking it (by unwinding and letting go of the thoughts that aren’t serving you), but it will make you happier and healthier in the long run.

Essential healing also requires that we look at love in a different way. It means replacing a heart at war toward a former spouse with a heart at peace. This will happen when we begin to see them as human beings rather than as a vehicle for getting what we want or as an obstacle to getting what we want. Part of that is reaching out to others in authentic honesty and making the happy discovery that many people will accept us, even when they know the ugly truth.

Until we let people freely give their love to us, we can never really know it is real and sincere. The genuine love of others and of our God is the healing balm of Gilead that will prepare our hearts for a greater love in the future. Look for wise people who are able to offer you real love and you will find the essential healing required to live your life more fully and if you so choose, date successfully.

Our new video release is a presentation we did in August 2022 for the Flameless Fireside - Essential Healing for Dating Success and our podcast is Emotion & Energetic State - What Creates It? This week’s short is Emotional Regulation Builds Trust in Relationships.


LILY Pod Episode 102: Emotion & Energetic State - What Creates It? (46min)

LILY Tube: Essential Healing for Dating Success (102min)

LILY Tube Short: Emotional Regulation Builds Trust in Relationships (1min)

Discover what LILY Coaching can do for you. Simply email to set up a FREE consultation with Jeff or Cathy. We have private and group coaching options available. We look forward to working with you personally!

Get a copy of "Intentional Courtship" on Amazon to heal from relationship loss and create more real love in your life HERE: Intentional Courtship

If you enjoy this letter, forward to a friend. Our goal is to support as many mid-singles and later-married couples as possible!


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