LILY Letter 90: Moving into the New Year with Strength

December 27, 2022

One thing we learn in meditation is how to separate ourselves from our thoughts and emotions. That includes being able to see our feelings like weather and watch them drift by like dark storm clouds. This is a helpful technique for mastering our emotions instead of being mastered by them. It also helps us release our negative or unhelpful thoughts more quickly.

Holy scriptures teach that we are free "to act for [our]selves and not to be acted upon” (2 Nephi 2:24). When we simply react to the whims of our emotions, we are being acted upon by those emotions, which is inconsistent with becoming a free being.

The most important principle to mastering your emotions is realizing that you can. Uncontrolled emotion will cause us to overreact, be defensive, or even counter-attack, causing damage to relationships. We decide how to handle emotional flooding in the moments we are not flooded. We intentionally decide how we're going to react when the pressure packed situation arises. Then, when we are in the heat of the moment, we won't be trying to reason with a brain that is in fight or flight mode. We will already know the procedure to apply to get us through the situation.

These principles apply in every kind of human relationship including spouses, dating partners, parents and children, and even good friends. The closer you are to someone, the greater the chance to hurt them. Deciding what we will do when fight or flight descends on you makes it far more likely that you will handle emotional flooding in a healthy way. Intentionality is the key to creating processes that are in line with your values and commitment is the key to following them religiously when you are in fight or flight mode.

Our new video this week will help you be more intentional and committed to managing your emotions so they don’t manage you: Who's in Charge - You or Your Feelings?

In preparation for the new year, enjoy our inspirational New Year’s podcasts Creating from Scratch (to support the intentional creation of your life) & The Power of One Word (for ideas on choosing your own powerful word for 2023). This week’s short is Self Care Supports Super Hero Status.


LILY Pod Episode 50: Creating from Scratch (35min)

LILY Pod Episode 51: The Power of One Word (46min)

LILY Tube: Who’s in Charge, You or Your Feelings? (8min)

LILY Tube Short: Self Care Supports Super Hero Status (1min)

Discover what LILY Coaching can do for you. Email to set up a FREE consultation with Jeff or Cathy. We have private and group coaching options available. We look forward to working with you personally!

Get a copy of "Intentional Courtship" on Amazon to heal from relationship loss and create more real love in your life HERE: Intentional Courtship

If you enjoy this letter, forward to a friend. Our goal is to support as many mid-singles and later-married couples as possible!

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