1. Men don't like to feel judged by your experiences with other men, or to feel like you are seeing them through the lens of traumatic experiences with other men. A closely related theme was projecting negative generalities about men on to them. If you have a generally poor opinion of men, they pick up on that vibe and it is off-putting. (Incidentally, that is something we could help out a lot with in coaching.)
3. Criticism was another big theme. Sometimes women are invested in having things a certain way and become critical and even demeaning if you don't cooperate perfectly. A number of the men commented that it was a "red flag" if a woman was always speaking negatively of a former husband or boyfriend. Negativity in conversation in general was a closely related theme. It seems like many men want to be with women who are positive, encouraging, and uplifting. I would suspect that the same is true going in the other direction. One thing that women ought to understand, however, is that men and women experience shame differently. At least in our culture, men mostly feel shame if they are seen as weak or incompetent. Constantly nit-picking your man with criticism or instruction is going to feel emasculating. So think carefully about how you show up in this relationship and what kind of a girlfriend or wife you want to be.
I'll give you a little hot tip about this. If you have a problem or question about the guy you are dating, talk to him. Be kind and gentle, but talk to him. Don't puzzle it out with your girlfriends or on your Facebook wall. Solving things together builds trust. Trying to manage or go around each other does not.
Women, I think there is some wisdom to be gleaned from these observations. I hope they do not come across as implicitly disparaging women. I did not get that sense from most of the comments. Most of the comments were constructive and fairly specific. I made this post in an effort to help women better understand the fears men have about dating and relationships and the experiences that created those fears within them. I do understand that the fear exists inside the individual and does not come from someone else. However, If we complain less and seek greater understanding instead, we can connect a lot better.