LILY Letter 33: Rising Like a Phoenix

November 23, 2021

Life can feel tragic when something we love dearly is burned to the ground. Those ashes, however, can be the beginning of higher, holier purpose. Much like the Provo City Center Temple, which rose from the ashes of the beloved Provo Tabernacle that literally caught fire, we too can rise from unexpected loss and become more than we were before.

Personal growth is crucial to becoming whole again after relationship loss. To reestablish our peaceful state of “shalom,” we must radically accept what is. Resistance doesn’t change the situation and can prolong the necessary grieving process. Radical acceptance improves our recovery time and ability to move forward.

Cultivating mutual respect by overcoming the temptation to objectify those who have hurt us honors agency and allows us to see them as a beloved son or daughter of God, rather than a means of getting what we want or an obstacle in the way.

Forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves by taking the irritating beam out of our own eye. As we remove what is hurting our soul, we can let go of what is keeping us stuck. Radical acceptance, cultivating mutual respect and compassion, along with forgiveness combined with healthy boundaries, allows the best possible blessings to come from the most tragic of circumstances.

Developing intentional, loving relationships is the other part of recovery from relationship loss. To do so, we must be willing to take meaningful risks. When we approach someone special, we risk our ego. As a relationship deepens and requires more vulnerability, we risk our hearts. These risks are worthwhile and with our increased capacity to rise like a phoenix and become the best versions of ourselves as we radically accept what is, cultivate mutual respect, and make peace with ourselves and others, we develop the power to recover from loss and build the confidence to take risks that can lead to the greatest blessings!

Remember that the worst of things we experience in life have the power to lead to the best blessings. The principles of rising like a phoenix can help make that possible. Enjoy our condensed 60-minute podcast or 2-hour live presentation on this topic. Have a wonderful week!

LILY Pod Episode 43: Rising Like a Phoenix

LILY Tube Channel: FHE Singles Group, Rising Like a Phoenix

In “Rising Like a Phoenix,” Jeff & Cathy discuss how to achieve peace, personal growth, and loving relationships out of tragedy and painful loss.

To learn about how LILY Coaching can support you with rising like a phoenix, visit

To get a copy of our newly released book on Amazon, visit Intentional Courtship

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