LILY Letter 29: Overcoming Fear

October 26, 2021

"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind” (2 Timothy 1:7). Fear does not come from the spirit but from trauma and pain. The adversary works on our triggers and feelings of insecurity to prevent us from progressing in love and relationships. This is probably why “Overcoming Fear” is a favorite chapter for many who have ready advanced copies of “Intentional Courtship.”

While a certain amount of fear serves a healthy survival function to warn of us of true danger, our brains over-generalize the fear response so we end up being afraid of many things that are not truly harmful. Those of us who have been hurt in past relationship know the trepidation experienced when contemplating the possibility of trying again. This is, perhaps, the biggest reason many mid-singles do not date or give themselves the opportunity to create a lasting love that would bless their lives.

Confronting our fears opens future possibilities and enables us to grow and progress. One of the first steps to overcoming fear is to recognize when we are experiencing irrational fear that is over-generalized and work through it in our own minds. To benefit from a more in-depth look at overcoming fear, remember that the long awaited "Intentional Courtship: A Mid-Singles Guide to Peace, Progress, and Pairing Up in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints" will be released very soon, in November!

LILY YouTube Video: Jesus Take the Wheel

LILY Pod Episode 38: The Illusion of Control

LILY Pod Episode 39: Sober Confidence

Enjoy this YouTube video from our “Sunday Spirit Candy” series and two “LILY Pod” podcasts that all pair well together. In the video, we discuss Cathy’s unexpected brush with death that prompted us to explore the “illusion of control” and how to live with optimism and confidence despite our fears. In episode 38, we discuss the perils of believing we have more control over our circumstances than we really do, and the power of intentionally focusing on the things we can influence. In episode 39, we discuss Cathy’s personal definition of humility and how much this concept can help us feel safe in a world full of things we don’t control.

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